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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
 Posted - 02/21/2005 : 8:48:17 PM
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so someone who lives near me found a human hand in a medical glove in his front yard. how awesome is that? the best part is that he was walking his daughter, who's like 7, up to the front door. he managed to pick it up and throw it before the daughter noticed. now they're digging up his lawn to, you know, look for the rest of the body.
everyone reacted to the daughter when they heard it. no one even mentioned that fact that a hand from a person, severed from its body, is just lying around out in the open. in broad daylight.
also, back before thanksgiving, not 15 minutes from where i live, down the street from my uncle, there was an ax murder. well one murder and one skull caving in. the killer? well, we think we know who did it.
i get the feeling i won't be taking any late night walks this spring and summer. except for the the frankenstein hunting expidition. |
death to false metal. |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2005 : 8:58:26 PM
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| oh yeah and we've had like 3 suicides these past 6 months in my small little town. which i'll just go ahead and call racoon city from now on. |
death to false metal. |
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Jiyra
Chatterbox
124 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2005 : 9:25:12 PM
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| Dan, that's the most sick, most disturbing, most sad, and most strangely funny thing I've heard since I watched American Idol a few weeks ago...I'm thinking you should come live in Richmond, VA...the murder capital of the country, where the worst I've ever seen is a diaphragm lying in the street |
silly girl, sanity is for boys |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2005 : 10:09:13 PM
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| you mean, like, the muscles? or the contraceptive? |
death to false metal. |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2005 : 11:35:42 PM
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| You want a toe I can get you a toe. With nailpollish. |
Remember, turn off your tv. Read. |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2005 : 12:53:49 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by dan p.
you mean, like, the muscles? or the contraceptive?
I said the same thing to myself. |
Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque an Alien Abductee! |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2005 : 04:25:37 AM
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| I would take all of these incidents as signs, all saying in big, bold letters, "GET THE FUCK OUTTA TOWN!" |
Steve Hackett: "I'm my own opening act, you see."
Tim (before "Faceoff"): "Peace, love....and SEX!"
cbenc41@hotmail.com |
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Evergreen
Yak Addict
960 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2005 : 06:41:22 AM
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Dan, maybe the hand had something to do with the fronkensteen mystery from a few months ago. I bet someone is harvesting body parts to make him complete and the hand was dropped off at the wrong location. You can't always be too accurate when hurling a body part from a moving vehicle. Have you ever considered moving?
This might be a good place to ask this burning question I've had.
I heard this story in the news yesterday. A woman in Alaska cut off her husband/boyfriend's (?) penis with a "kitchen utensil" and flushed it after a heated argument about him wanting to end the relationship. The water and sewer workers were able to retrieve the penis "somewhere down the line" after plumbers failed to get it after ripping up the toilet. The docs were attempting to re-attach the victims penis. No joke, true story.
So as I'm trying to recreate this crime scene in my head I'm wondering and thought some of the males on the board might give me some insight:
How in the hell, esp during an argument, did this woman get close enough to cut off the guys tool?? I can visulize her coming after him with a knife and slashing at a few things, BUT his penis? How did she get to it? How did he let her get a good enough grip on it to chop it off? I mean, wouldn't she have to have a hold of it in one hand and chop with the other? Was he in the bathroom peeing and she charged in before he had time to react? Did she pretend to not be mad anymore and entice him with "make up sex" then BAM, "fooled ya". It just perplexes me how a man (generally men are physically stronger by nature and even more so when their penis is threatened) would let a pissed off, psycho chick with a knife close enough to his penis to actually chop it off?! |
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Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2005 : 08:34:12 AM
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quote:
which i'll just go ahead and call racoon city from now on.
Hehe I was gonna say... where do you live, Cape Fear?
quote:
It just perplexes me how a man (generally men are physically stronger by nature and even more so when their penis is threatened) would let a pissed off, psycho chick with a knife close enough to his penis to actually chop it off?!
I'd have to assume he was probably asleep... he'd be vulnerable and in minimal clothes. |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2005 : 10:50:14 AM
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yeah, i'm looking at places to go. my friend has an apartment in albany, so that's a viable option. but there's a few things i want to do before i leave. check out an abandoned country club about half a mile in the back of an overgrown field that has some trees. visit the cemetary in troy said to be "the 7th gate to hell." it's called oakwood, or pinewood. something-wood.
i'd also like to revisit this abandoned bar out in the middle of nowhere. last time i was there, i think i may have told you about this, i went in and everything was there. there was still glasses on the bar, things in the lost and found. it was as if everyone just got up and left. the basement is flooded out and there are some freezers that look like i don't want to go into. i'd like to take a mug or a bottle from the bar. maybe check out the lost and found to see if i can get a decent hat or cane. i had to leave last time, so i'm trying to get some people to go with me this summer.
my guess is she got him while he was sleeping. the makeup sex is possible, too. especially if they did any bondage type things. |
death to false metal. |
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Jiyra
Chatterbox
124 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2005 : 11:59:15 AM
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| definitely the contraceptive, guys...and Dan, I definitely saw a gas station like that once out in the boonies of Virginia, which there are alot of, still had gas and everything! |
silly girl, sanity is for boys |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2005 : 4:48:57 PM
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| you know what that means. free gas. |
death to false metal. |
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Muskrat
Chatterbox
USA
266 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2005 : 11:28:25 PM
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| Wow. Reminds me of my childhood (of course, I'm only 17 so I guess I mean about 8 years ago)when my friends and I tried to create havoc by forming what we called "The Hand Club" and went around telling people that there was a possessed hand roaming around, popping up out of the ground and around corners and grabbing people... I was famous as being the only one who ever saw it and survived. |
"You know, if you live long enough, eventually you're gonna die." -Words of wisdom from my dad |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2005 : 3:42:16 PM
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it's a strange sort of place i live in. during the day, if i happen to be out, i look around and think "there's no possible way anything i've seen and heard at night could be real. look at this place." then of course, when i'm out at night i see how possible it is for terrfying and unnatural things to be happening in every shadow.
illustration. i'm most found of telling this one. about two years ago, over the summer, i was walking somewhere. these kids were playing in their pool in the backyard near the woods (a way back into the woods is a train track) and i thought "oh that's nice. if only our world didn't orbit a scortching ball of flame, i'd be out more often." i walk by the same places at night around 12. the guy across the street from me is riding around on his riding mower with no lights on. up the street a man had dug a small hole in his yard and had a small fire going in it, with a plastic bag next to where he was kneeling. i go by the kids' place, and i hear some people in the woods. the woods back there have all kinds of paths that i take sometimes. so i start down one, to see what these people are doing. "maybe it's someone i know," i thought. i start down that path, and some kind of engine starts revving up. it could have been a small motor bike or something. but it might it have been a chainsaw. and i didn't stick around to find out. i only had my stick.
the chainsaw thing has happened again to me since. |
death to false metal. |
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Jiyra
Chatterbox
124 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 11:49:23 AM
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| you need to leave...like now, do you happen to live on Elm Street? Got a little Freddy Kreuger action going on? |
silly girl, sanity is for boys |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 4:25:20 PM
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| my mom used to live on an elm street. i'd take the ol' freddy over this shit, any day. at least i can see freddy. at least i know what's happening. at least i can fight that. i just don't know what the fuck's going on here. |
death to false metal. |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 6:49:22 PM
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| I thought you could only fight him if you were a girl or Jason, from Friday the 13th. |
Steve Hackett: "I'm my own opening act, you see."
Tim (before "Faceoff"): "Peace, love....and SEX!"
cbenc41@hotmail.com |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 8:46:12 PM
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| "i kill where i wish and none dare resist." - smaug the dragon. |
death to false metal. |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2005 : 12:06:18 PM
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so i guess the human hand wasn't a human hand at all, but rather a bear claw in a medical glove made to look like a human hand. and by "bear claw" i mean "claw off the animal known as a bear" and not the delicious pastry. so that's settled. i guess.
but the guy they thought was the ax murderer turned out not to be it. they have a photo of him going through an ez pass booth around the time of the killings. so the guy who's lopping off heads is pretty much still at large. |
death to false metal. |
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Jiyra
Chatterbox
124 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2005 : 3:13:01 PM
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| and still you should remain worried |
silly girl, sanity is for boys |
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guitarisPIMP
Yak Addict
Niue
587 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2005 : 3:28:24 PM
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I'm not quite sure how local these events were, but I've been hearing alot lately about wives cutting off their husband's penises.
The first time I heard about an incident like that was like four months ago or so, and now just last week I heard about another one. In the former, the wife cut it off while the husband was asleep. I'm not sure if they re-attached it or not.
The latter case is pretty amusing. The married couple had a huge fight, but settled their differences and had make-up sex. After the make-up sex, the wife asked her husband if she could tie him to the bed-post, and he complied. She then cut his dick off with him tied up, and flushed it down the toilet.
The sick world we live in. Oh yeah and the authorities went down into the sewer and retrieved the severed penis and later re-attached it. I can't imagine what kind of condition it had to be in by then. |
my favorite color is go fuck yourself. :D |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2005 : 8:05:50 PM
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yeah, the bear claw thing, i don't know if that makes it less or more weird. i mean, it's not a human hand, and that's good. but, presumably a bear was killed and they went through the trouble making it look like man hand for some reason that can only be described as "unfathomable."
i'm surprised the bondage/penis cut thing doesn't happen more often. revenge is a pretty popular idea, and guys never turn down sex. guys also frequently piss off women without knowing, or sometimes caring. seems like it would happen a lot more. this is why i don't like the idea bonage. |
death to false metal. |
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Evergreen
Yak Addict
960 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 3:58:44 PM
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evergreen said:quote:
So as I'm trying to recreate this crime scene in my head I'm wondering and thought some of the males on the board might give me some insight:
How in the hell, esp during an argument, did this woman get close enough to cut off the guys tool?? Did she pretend to not be mad anymore and entice him with "make up sex" then BAM, "fooled ya".
so it was the make up sex scenario. giving bondage a bad name too!
Dan said:quote:
i'm surprised the bondage/penis cut thing doesn't happen more often. revenge is a pretty popular idea, and guys never turn down sex. guys also frequently piss off women without knowing, or sometimes caring. seems like it would happen a lot more.
pretty freaking drastic for just pissing someone off. I mean even if he was in an exclusive relationship and doing everyone in town, what the hell!! With 10 billion people in the world that woman should have just done herself a favor and moved on.
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Hopeful Rolling Waves
Alien Abductee
South Sandwich Islands
2154 Posts |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 6:28:49 PM
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i say if the guy's a big enough jerk, off with his dick.
bondage is silly. |
death to false metal. |
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guitarisPIMP
Yak Addict
Niue
587 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 10:58:10 PM
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"Dude, nobody's gonna cut your dick off. "
Ahh I love that movie. |
my favorite color is go fuck yourself. :D |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2005 : 4:28:21 PM
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another murder. this time even closer. across the street from a friend of a friend's house. the axe murder took place around 15 minutes from me, down the road from my uncle's house. the hand thing was a little further away, down the street from a friend's house. this right in my small little town. the others have been in neighboring towns (my town is real small, so other towns are all close by.)
it's a little strange. the person was an 86 year old woman and they're calling her death "suspicious" (because god knows 86 year olds just don't die sometimes.) if the death of an old lady is supicious, there would have to be substantial evidence to point to foul play. so i'm going to go ahead and call it a murder. time may prove me wrong. at least it wasn't a brutal killing.
i think the record will show my distain for the elderly, but rest assured that i didn't kill the old lady.
also, the axe murderer still hasn't been found, i don't think. |
death to false metal. |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2005 : 7:17:19 PM
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| yeah, they're calling it a murder now. |
death to false metal. |
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human hand
