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tim~and~dave
Chatterbox
112 Posts |
 Posted - 03/07/2003 : 2:38:25 PM
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heres the deal~ whoever posts next, word your post to sound so that the previous post sounds like it should follow yours
*edit* thread content:
STOLEN...just goes to show, it's true.
now this is the last post in this thread so you write the previous post
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Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2003 : 3:45:28 PM
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| Did anything happen to the car? |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2003 : 3:47:39 PM
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| I swear we JUST missed hitting that troop of midgets. |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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Erich
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1427 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2003 : 4:00:17 PM
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| it was crazy, going 90 mph getting a blowjob. |
~pw'oikr
~( "> |
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dirtysloth
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1302 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2003 : 5:31:53 PM
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| So I said, "If you're running from the cops, you gotta do it with style." |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2003 : 6:34:09 PM
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| What did you say? |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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tim~and~dave
Chatterbox
112 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2003 : 7:55:48 PM
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we ate at the resturant beside the doughnut shoppe
but we were getting drunk quickly so we headed for the car |
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CPPJames
Yak Addict
Fyro Macedonia
800 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2003 : 8:47:23 PM
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| After we got our lap dances, we decided we were gettin' pretty freakin' hungry so... |
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't. |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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CPPJames
Yak Addict
Fyro Macedonia
800 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2003 : 9:59:33 PM
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| We were sick and tired of masturbating... |
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't. |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2003 : 10:44:46 PM
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| ....we were all beginning to run out of underwear so.... |
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tim~and~dave
Chatterbox
112 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2003 : 12:25:08 AM
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| i yelled "right hand to blue circle!" but the twister board had pizza sauce all over it ~ it was too late ~ most of our clothes were saucy ~ into the wash they went ~ but the game continued only increasing in it's intensaty |
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neens1978
Is Anybody Here?
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2003 : 12:44:27 AM
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we were trying to write a song together and it got a little out of hand...after i fell asleep naked on top of the piano, i started dreaming that i was playing a messy game of twister...
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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thomasode
Yak Addict
565 Posts |
Posted - 03/15/2003 : 6:38:11 PM
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then I stopped at a stop light, listening to Phish, eating a mushroom sandwich, and playing a 86 string banjo. man was I stoned! |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2003 : 3:37:52 PM
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| I was driving my backhoe down the road |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2003 : 9:34:39 PM
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| I had a sudden craving for french fries, but I was banned from the local McDonalds after the whole "faking-the-condom-in-the-burger" incident. The local safeway was closed for repairs. |
Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque an Alien Abductee! |
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{=HTG=}
Alien Abductee
USA
2342 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2003 : 12:31:49 AM
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Flaming Moe anyone?   |
'HTG, are you a cute girl?'
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2003 : 12:39:07 AM
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| So I said "Hey! That's not my left shoe. That's my elbow." |
Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs. |
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maxthrewput
Is Anybody Here?
5 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2003 : 01:25:28 AM
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| then the phone rang...it was fidel wanting to meet for some cuba libre's...i was about to get on the plane when this female security guard stopped to search me...we went to this dark room when she says "let me take off your shoes".... |
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Dickey500
Chatterbox
USA
144 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2003 : 10:28:38 AM
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| Wow! It was already time for WRED announce the winner of it's "Lunch with a Communist Leader" contest...would I get the call? |
"All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out." - Mark Twain |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2003 : 3:41:37 PM
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| I was overwhelemed with relief when that Backstreet Boys song ended, so I sat in anticipation hoping for a good song. |
Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs. |
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thomasode
Yak Addict
565 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2003 : 2:42:24 PM
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| And it's snowing like hell, so......... |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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CPPJames
Yak Addict
Fyro Macedonia
800 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2003 : 9:49:45 PM
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| With no regard to etiquette, he triple dog dared me to turn it on. I was expressionless for a moment, then decided...wtf... |
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't. |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2003 : 10:02:46 PM
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I realized my team was way ahead of the weather machine and germ warfare divisions, so I went to give the weather machine division a hard time. Their division leader saw me coming and tossed the machine at me with an evil grin.
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Dickey500
Chatterbox
USA
144 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2003 : 10:32:57 PM
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| The competition at the Periodic Evil Nerd International Summit, or PENIS for short, was heating up... |
"All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out." - Mark Twain |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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Dickey500
Chatterbox
USA
144 Posts |
Posted - 03/25/2003 : 10:54:44 PM
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| Well, I had just completed my hooked on phonics course and grabbed the first thing I could try to read... |
"All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out." - Mark Twain |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2003 : 06:10:05 AM
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After walking into the 10th "Nudie Man" bar by mistake (I thought they said "Needy Man" bar...after all, I was a man and I needed a drink), I decided that I needed to update my reading abilities, so I called 1-800-ABCDEFG.....HOOKED ON PHONICS works for me!
quote:
Originally posted by tericee
I realized my team was way ahead of the weather machine and germ warfare divisions,
(On a side note, nice Simpsons plug Teri!) |
Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs. |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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maxthrewput
Is Anybody Here?
5 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2003 : 3:05:11 PM
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| ...and on my 5th birthday i realized several things, one of which was that... |
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thomasode
Yak Addict
565 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2003 : 5:49:22 PM
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| Masturbation is FUN!!! |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2003 : 5:55:52 PM
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| I could tell that the guy I was sitting next to on the airplane was having a problem with what I was doing, so I looked at him and yelled.... |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2003 : 6:53:37 PM
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| It was a 12 hour plane ride back to the states from India. We took off about 20 minutes ago and I was already feeling bored. It was then that I spotted the Hottest Gurus of Sri Lanka special issue. |
Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs. |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2003 : 9:16:51 PM
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Having completed my mission, I went to Chhatrapati Shivaji Int'l Airport (formerly called Sahar International Airport) to find the next plane to the good old US of A -- where you can actually find BEEF at McDonalds.
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2003 : 1:15:12 PM
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| Stopped in the local McDonalds for a coke and a burger, damned Maharaja Mac's! Left still feeling hungry. |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2003 : 2:23:18 PM
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| ....All I wanted was a big juicy rare cheeseburger. Although, seeing as how I was in INDIA this was a little hard to come across so I... |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2003 : 3:01:04 PM
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| Seeing all these cows walking around made me hungry. |
Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque an Alien Abductee! |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2003 : 8:27:05 PM
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Here in the crowds were tons of mangy cows walking around. In the Hindu religion the cow is a sacred animal which is not to be eaten or harmed in anyway.
(Lifted from somebody else's India story at http://www.worldrambler.com/indiastories.htm
It just seemed to fit!) |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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skefdawg
Is Anybody Here?
USA
40 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2003 : 10:05:42 PM
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| It was raining like a bitch one day. So i went to my local library where i remembered i had a book... |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2003 : 05:26:10 AM
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| I had been poppin' pills and drinkin' alcohol all morning, and the next thing I knew I was standing in front of the local library in the rain. |
Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs. |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2003 : 9:06:15 PM
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ASIDE
Call me picky, but it seems to me that pcbTIM and skefdawg have written the same thing above. let's not get lazy with this reverse thread... 
END ASIDE |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2003 : 02:42:44 AM
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| Sometimes when I am on one of my benders, I forget to bathe and brush my teeth. There is nothing worse than day 4 of a really good bender when I am reeking and breathing noxious fumes. For some reason it really bothers my girlfriend. I just don't get it, but it really seems to bother her. So...... |
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy         
"THE MUSIC BUSINESS IS A CRUEL AND SHALLOW MONEY TRENCH-- A LONG PLASTIC HALLWAY WHERE THIEVES AND PIMPS RUN FREE AND GOOD MEN DIE LIKE DOGS. THERE'S ALSO A NEGATIVE SIDE..." -Hunter S. Thompson |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2003 : 12:05:13 PM
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| Women. You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em. And they can't live with your benders. |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2003 : 6:12:16 PM
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| After consuming all of my electronic equipment, I decided on going for a nice long walk to the burning pile of tires. I arrived after stabbing myself in the eye 87 times with a dull butterknife and swallowing three grapes. As i approached, a portly woman, aptly named " Fatima" charged up to me with alarming velocity and speed. THe ground shook underneath her massive weight. Her feet were jammed into size four baby shoes. She was six foot thirteen and weighed 954.3 pounds. She was carrying in her forearms a massive cast iron couldron, from which a wonderful smelling, brown, viscous gravy was bubbling forth. She noticed me , and said, " Partying again, Eh?" I was astounded. She walked over to an enormous bunson burner, set said cast iron couldron on it and began stirring it with a canoe paddle. I couldn't hold back. I approached the cast iron couldron, and inside was brown viscous gravy...In which were floating lean chunks of red meat, meticulously chisled to look like former presidents of the United States. There were little potatoes that looked like rocks, and carrots that looked like the Exxon Veldez...and the garlic...oh the garlic...oh the garlic...I got a bowl and spoon and prepared to dive in...She said "Wait a minute asshole, get the Hell offa my pile 'o' burnin' tires!" She stuck a plug of Coppenhagen between her cheek and gum as a smile came to her tobbacco stained lips. She grabbed that canoe paddle and began chasing me about the pile of burning tires. I thought.... |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2003 : 6:18:01 PM
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| (uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) Boy do I have a story for you..... it was the STRANGEST day of my life |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2003 : 8:01:05 PM
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| So there I was.......in hell swapping stories with Hitler, Attila the Hun, Superman, and Frank Sinatra. Superman had just finished telling his story about breaking a prostitute in half for making a crack about him being faster than a speeding bullet. Now it was my turn..... |
Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs. |
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skefdawg
Is Anybody Here?
USA
40 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2003 : 1:53:12 PM
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"As the sky faded from a deep salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought about the salmon I caught that day, and how gray he was, and how i named him flint."
As i was reading through my book of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, I couldn't help but think about going out and fishing since the day outside was more beautiful than the last day before this one. I thought to myself that day, 'one day, i can write like Hemingway once did back in the day when he lived and wrote every day with the same monotonous sentence about the the two days he thought were so beautiful...back in the day.'
That's when i was crossing the dirt road and some asshole, who's wife I "had an affair with", blindsided me with his old chevy pickup. My skull cracked instantly on his windshield and the hemmorage was too much for the rest of my body to handle. So then i must have died because i found myself at the gates of hell where some tall dude with horns and a pimp pitchfork or something and he was like, "Hey, big guy...so, your best friends wife. wow. Good job, i'd say you fixed HER cable!" as he casually signed me off at his magma-podium. (what?) So he opened the gate and there i was. I had just crossed hell's threshold.
Hey look, some faces from the past appeared in a corner before me... |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2003 : 4:59:31 PM
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| I never thought I would end up dead at the end of the day, but thats just what happened. I was out for a leisurely day of fishing all by my lonesome. I fished and fished with little to no luck, but I did manage to catch a few salmons. As the day wore on and the sun beat down on me, I decided it was TIMe for some alcohol. I love the extra burst of buzz you get when you drink beer thru a straw in the hot sun at such high altitudes. Did I mention I was fishing in the mts? Anyway, I began to get woozey and drowzy and began to fall in and out of consciousness. I think I was starting to hallucinate and the smell of the fish was definitely starting to get to me. I am still not sure if it was a dream or a hallucination, but all I can remember is... |
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy
"THE MUSIC BUSINESS IS A CRUEL AND SHALLOW MONEY TRENCH-- A LONG PLASTIC HALLWAY WHERE THIEVES AND PIMPS RUN FREE AND GOOD MEN DIE LIKE DOGS. THERE'S ALSO A NEGATIVE SIDE..." -Hunter S. Thompson |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2003 : 1:50:51 PM
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How was your day off?
ASIDE -- I am LOVING this thread! We have some very creative writers in our midst -- END ASIDE |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2003 : 4:03:21 PM
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| So i was sitting there at work, when the boss came up to me, and, I swear this is true, threw a dead rat on me. I grabbed it and bit its head off just to show my disgust, and ripped the tail off. I then proceeded to kill the boss. Then I realized...with no boss there is no work. So seeing as how it was only fifteen minutes into the work day, I walked out of the office, rat blood coagualting on my chin. |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2003 : 10:56:57 PM
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How many times do I have to tell people, I hate rats! If I was on Fear Factor that would be me, the one in the pit full of rats! Damnit does no one take me seriously? To top it off my boss is such a fucking asshole he thinks it is real funny to make rat jokes and leave dead rats on my desk just to piss me off.
I knew one day he would push me too far and I'd lose it! Sure enough it happened.... |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2003 : 11:40:19 PM
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| and thats the story of how i found out i was born with a tail. |
Remember, turn off your tv. Read. |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2003 : 11:57:53 PM
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Let's see here. Well, first I killed my bastard neighbor. The old one that took too many pills. The shakey one that was always saying " Where's ma damn Codiene?" Even though she didn't take codiene. She was the one that was building that monstrous tank around her property so that the "Bison" would stay out of her tobbacco field. So I had to install her new electric fence, which she insisted was to be used to guard against the barbarians, who she had fitted with the electrode collars earlier that year while she was travelling in the Nord province of Boorshikjavic. I entered her house, and, as large as it was, I discovered to my utter suprise that her entire rear wall was covered in what apeared to be shrunken human heads. She told me that they were her little friends and that no matter how many times she buried them they kept coming back. She attempted to give me one, aptly named "Kevin II" Was there another Kevin? She then offered me a tour of her property, which I immee'jit'ly declined. Her right ear began to slide down her face, so she slid it back up as if it always happened. She told me to sit at her table, which happened to be made of dried dung. She chatted with me for a moment, and then, with both hands grabbing hold of the edge of the dung-table, she slowly rose up...SNAP...btoh arms come off at the sockets. She lurches over to the cupboard and opens it with her long, pointed nose. She bites the edge of a cup and with a flick of her neck, sends it flying in my direction. I noticed that ALL of her cups had parts of the rim chipped off from her dentures
(good adhesive, eh?) clamping down on them like a giant, elderly shark grabs a fish. She began chucking more glasses at me, and I was beginnign to grow terrified. So, I grabbed Kevin II, and looked for the nearest object I could use to dipose of the old lady. Her arms were still holding on to the edge of the table, bent at the elbows. I decided to kill her with her own arm. I tried pulling it off, but with glass flying at you it's hard. I had to hit the clamped fingers with Kevin II. I just swung him by the hair with one hand, while pulling on the arm with the other. I finally succeded in tearing it's death-grip away form the dung table, by accually tearing a chunk off. The rectangularly-shaped chunk of turd was still being held in the hand. I swung the arm at the old lady, who was still busy trying to hit me with a cup. She went down so fast and easy. I didn't know where to put her, so I left her on the floor. THen I installed the fence, and proceeded to the shed. I open the door, and inside...were rats. I HATE RATS! NO ONE BELEIVES ME! I TOLD OL' DAVY I'D SHOOT, BUT HEDIDN'T BELIEVE ME! NO! LOOK WHERE IT GOT HIM! I HATE THE DAMN BEASTS! |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 04/06/2003 : 05:17:23 AM
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| All my friends were gathered around telling each other what types of drugs they had tried before. They asked me, and I told them only one. Being the potheads that they were, all of them were surprised by this. I then proceeded to tell them my story of the ONE time I dropped acid, as I saw it. |
Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs. |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 04/06/2003 : 09:22:35 AM
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It was great, the air was cool and crisp but we built this huge bonfire on the beach so we felt warm. Or maybe it was just the thought of being with Jenny last night that was keeping me hot, I don't know.
There's something very mesmerizing about fire! Watching the flames dance I thought life can't get better than this! |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 04/07/2003 : 4:12:58 PM
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| Because my night with Jenny didn't include much sleeping, I decided to stay in bed all day. The phone rang at dusk, and it was some friends inviting me to the beach. |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 04/07/2003 : 7:18:57 PM
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| Jenny and I ended up back at my place and stayed up all night playing Twister. |
Steve Hackett: "I'm my own opening act, you see."
Tim (before "Faceoff"): "Peace, love....and SEX!"
cbenc41@hotmail.com |
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Dickey500
Chatterbox
USA
144 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2003 : 12:25:22 AM
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| ...the genie's voice boomed, "Forrest Gump! With your last wish, you have asked to be reunited with your dead girlfriend, Jen-nay. Your wish is granted!"... |
"All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out." - Mark Twain |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 04/14/2003 : 6:32:15 PM
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| And sure enough, she was still dead, and I thought... wow, that's kinda sick.... but oh well! |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2003 : 9:01:21 PM
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| I poked her in the eye with a stick. |
Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque an Alien Abductee! |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 05/06/2003 : 6:56:29 PM
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| I felt like a steaming pile of horse shite in the sun, and Digging through that heap of...shite...I found a small woman...So, not know what to do with this shite-woman, I set her on the pile of...shite...and began giving her CPR. She wasn't responding, so... |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2003 : 11:30:31 PM
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| SO I got shit on my shoe. (I like this one and thought i would try AGAIN to bring it back) |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2003 : 4:05:32 PM
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| I was hanging around the stables, making "SHORT" jokes at the jockeys who didn't take the jokes so well, and they started hurling horseshit at me. I was able to dodge all of it but as I struggled to elude my detractors I managed to step in a giant pile of poop, which was ironic I thought, given the fact that I was dodging the exact same substance and had managed to elude all traces of the substance then BOOM! I put my foot in it. Now I find myself standing here thinking..... |
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy
"THE MUSIC BUSINESS IS A CRUEL AND SHALLOW MONEY TRENCH-- A LONG PLASTIC HALLWAY WHERE THIEVES AND PIMPS RUN FREE AND GOOD MEN DIE LIKE DOGS. THERE'S ALSO A NEGATIVE SIDE..." -Hunter S. Thompson |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2003 : 09:54:13 AM
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| First, after I lit my hands on fire, I grabbed a jug of 2% and began pouring all about the linolium...And I decided, "YA KNOW JAY??? I WANT TO PET A HORSE!!!!!!!" |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2003 : 10:21:37 AM
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| Allow me to explain why my hands look like this... |
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the *OFFICIAL* reverse thread thread
