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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
 Posted - 06/10/2002 : 02:27:43 AM
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You Are Different and That's Bad
The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
Dad's New Wife Robert
Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
All Cats Go to Hell
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens Can Fly
That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
Grandpa Gets a Casket
The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
Strangers Have the Best Candy
Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
You Were an Accident
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
Your Nightmares Are Real
Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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{=HTG=}
Alien Abductee
USA
2342 Posts |
Posted - 06/10/2002 : 8:53:40 PM
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quote:
Your Nightmares Are Real
Haha, my favorite one.
"I tell you what, I'm not that easily amused ...wow, a blue car!" Homer Simpson.
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TalkingNeurons
Yak Addict
523 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 07:45:21 AM
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I remember one time I saw this book called like "What to do in a Worse Case Scenerio," or something like that, but it had stuff like, "How to jump off a building into a dumpster," "How to escape quicksand," "How to fight off an aligator," "How to jump into a moving car from another car/motorcycle," and they had a lot more stuff, but it was at a Books 'a' Million, and you'd never think you'd be in those kinds of situations, which was kinda funny, but could be really helpful when you think about it.
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"Little or no expectations leave more room for experiences."
-Victor L. Wooten
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{=HTG=}
Alien Abductee
USA
2342 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 08:17:29 AM
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Hey, TalkingNeurons, was that book yellow?
"I tell you what, I'm not that easily amused ...wow, a blue car!" Homer Simpson.
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Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 08:36:48 AM
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I have it and it is indeed yellow. Great read... very entertaining.
-J
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genome
Fluffy-Esque
1098 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 08:47:57 AM
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Funniest one is the one called "Worst Case Scenario: Dating" or something like that. What to do if one has extreme gas on a date. It has the guy going to the bathroom, getting towels from the attendant, then getting on his elbows and knees and squeezing his gut by sliding his elbows and knees together on the floor....It looks as funny as hell. If I saw someone doing that, I'd have to plant my foot right up to his duodenum.
?uoyt' ner a, mehtf oenoer 'uoY |
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revrendmaynard14
Chatterbox
USA
359 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 5:20:26 PM
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My friends cat has Luekemia
*~Kaleigh~* |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 5:21:59 PM
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That sucks Kaleigh. I've heard Feline Leukemia is the equivalent of AIDS for cats. And it's contagious (to other kitties) unlike human leukemia.
teri 
Did I mention that I finished a marathon? |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 6:24:06 PM
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They forgot these...
Well Exploring Can Be Fun
Under-the-Sink Snacks
How to Catch a Pet Racoon
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Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque
"I heard Tim stopped playing with Dave when he got pregnant" |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 6:28:01 PM
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quote:
My friends cat has Luekemia
*~Kaleigh~*
My dog has really bad mouth cancer. Everytime I visit home I treat it like it's the last time I'll see her. It started off as something the size of a quarter last summer and now it's so big it has nowhere else to grow so it's rotting and falling off. Her breathe smells like HELL (imagine what it would smell like if a fish could fart) and her water dish looks like you washed your hands off in it after making a meatloaf. She doesn't seem to be in pain from it though so my parents chose not to put her to sleep...it'll happen eventually though.
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Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque
"I heard Tim stopped playing with Dave when he got pregnant" |
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genome
Fluffy-Esque
1098 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 6:39:23 PM
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quote:
I've heard Feline Leukemia is the equivalent of AIDS for cats. And it's contagious (to other kitties) unlike human leukemia.
So what you're saying is that Kaleigh's cat could be Killing Kittens?
?uoyt' ner a, mehtf oenoer 'uoY |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 6:55:34 PM
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No, this is what kills them...
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Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque
"I heard Tim stopped playing with Dave when he got pregnant" |
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genome
Fluffy-Esque
1098 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2002 : 7:39:02 PM
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Yeah, that's what I was talking about. Thanks for clearing that up.
?uoyt' ner a, mehtf oenoer 'uoY |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2002 : 10:36:25 PM
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quote:
Under-the-Sink Snacks
Now that's a good one!
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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{=HTG=}
Alien Abductee
USA
2342 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2002 : 01:13:08 AM
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quote:
Well Exploring Can Be Fun
LOL, this ones good too. Reminds me of Bart falling into the well after he tricked the town that there was a boy inside with the name "Timmy"
"I tell you what, I'm not that easily amused ...wow, a blue car!" Homer Simpson.
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Captain Petersburgh
Yak Addict
Canada
779 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2002 : 8:26:28 PM
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ha ah. that was funny. i like yhr kitin' picture. mebey i'll be more careful next TIMe
i'm keepin' TIMe with my own set of keys.... |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2002 : 9:19:04 PM
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I am afraid all those books are made up. If you want to see a great book along those lines that is real, check out Shel Silverstein's "The A,B,Z Book". It will have you in stitches. I read it to friends all the TIMe. You definitely have to SEE it. Reading it without the pictures isn't as funny. It really is the real life answer to all those made up books above. In fact, the titles of those books sound like they were taken from the ABZ book. Check it out. YOU WILL LAUGH!!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy          |
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revrendmaynard14
Chatterbox
USA
359 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2002 : 9:23:44 PM
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Kaleighs cat isn't killing any other animals, she has got in some pretty hardcore fight w/ racoons, rabbits, mice, and squirrels, and even w/out front claws has won, but yea....I will have to check out that book, Shel rules.
*~Kaleigh~* |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2002 : 10:34:19 PM
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I once had a cat with no front claws and it could still kick major ass. She would grab your arm with her front paws and start kicking you bigtime with here rear claws. She was a sweetie. I miss her. LMK what you think of the A,B,Z Book. It is hysterical.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2002 : 11:55:44 PM
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quote:
Kaleighs cat isn't killing any other animals, she has got in some pretty hardcore fight w/ racoons, rabbits, mice, and squirrels, and even w/out front claws has won, but yea....I will have to check out that book, Shel rules.
*~Kaleigh~*
LOL, I just skimmed this and I didn't notice that is said Kaleighs CAT, I just thought it said Kaleigh. That puts it in a totally different perspective...
"Women and rhythm section first."
Mr. Jaco Pastorius
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2002 : 02:01:23 AM
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What Fleabass read:
Kaleighs isn't killing any other animals, she has got in some pretty hardcore fight w/ racoons, rabbits, mice, and squirrels, and even w/out front claws has won, but yea....I will have to check out that book, Shel rules.
*~Kaleigh~*
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Captain Petersburgh
Yak Addict
Canada
779 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2002 : 11:53:54 PM
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my aunt got me all of shel's poem books one x-mas TIMe. i really enjoy them. i don't get to see her too much so the books r kinda like reminders or her.
i'm keepin' TIMe with my own set of keys.... |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2002 : 09:09:04 AM
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Was the ABZ Book among the ones you recieved?
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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genome
Fluffy-Esque
1098 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2002 : 09:42:46 AM
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I have "the missing piece" and "tmp meets the big O"
Great stuff. I haven't checked out any others tho.
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2002 : 09:47:13 AM
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They are great as well, but you gotta check out THE ABZ Book!!!
You won't be able to stop laughing. I have a hard TIMe reading it to others because I always get the giggles so bad whenever I read it.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2002 : 5:27:49 PM
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quote:
My dog has really bad mouth cancer. Everytime I visit home I treat it like it's the last time I'll see her. It started off as something the size of a quarter last summer and now it's so big it has nowhere else to grow so it's rotting and falling off. Her breathe smells like HELL (imagine what it would smell like if a fish could fart) and her water dish looks like you washed your hands off in it after making a meatloaf. She doesn't seem to be in pain from it though so my parents chose not to put her to sleep...it'll happen eventually though.
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Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque
"I heard Tim stopped playing with Dave when he got pregnant"
A little update...my dog has just been put to sleep
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Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque
"I heard Tim stopped playing with Dave when he got pregnant" |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2002 : 5:45:13 PM
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Sorry to hear that. Seems like it has been a bad year for people on the board and their pets. Lots of us here can identify with what you are going thru. Our good wishes and thoughts are with you in this time of loss. As Rew told me when my cat died before the last tour, "Remember the good thoughts of your pet, they will make you happy."
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2002 : 6:26:58 PM
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Sorry to hear... maybe he's living it up in dog heaven in the land of milk and honey with 20 virgins for every male dog.
-J
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2002 : 6:39:22 PM
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lol. no maybe about it.
get in the car, little girl. |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2002 : 06:05:08 AM
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I am pretty sure that is what it is like for them down here as well.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2002 : 9:20:21 PM
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I'm reminded of that Far Side cartoon of what dog would sound like if they could talk....."Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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Topic |
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Little Golden Books that didn't quite make it...
