| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
 Posted - 01/23/2002 : 01:11:46 AM
|
I just noticed your signature block and decided I would offer up a few pearls of wisdumb.
Did you hear about the guy who had 5 penises?
His pants fit like a glove.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy          |
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2002 : 01:12:52 AM
|
Did you hear about the guy who had a penis transplant?
His hand rejected it!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
 |
|
|
dirtysloth
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1302 Posts |
|
|
Black Lotus
Fluffy-Esque
Burkina Faso (Upper Volta)
1043 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2002 : 12:08:50 PM
|
AHAHAHHAHAHHAH!!! Those were great!!
Here's another.
A man walks into a bar, orders a beer and takes a look around. He notices that there's a real horse standing near the bar. So, he says to the bartender, "What's the deal with the horse?" The bartender replies, "That horse hasn't laughed in 10 years. If you can make 'em laugh, I'll give you $100." "Ok," the man says and walks over to the horse. He whispers something in the horse's ear and the horse starts laughing hystericly. So, the man collects his $100 and heads home.
A few days later, he comes back to the bar and notices the horse is still there. So, he says to the bartender, "What's the deal with the horse now?" The bartender replies, "He hasn't cried in 10 years. If you can make 'em cry, I'll give you $100."
So, the man orders a beer, slams it down and walks over to the horse. He fidgets a moment, then the horse begins crying like a madman. The guy walks to the bar and says, "Horse is crying, where's my $100?"
THe bartender replies, "First tell me how you got him to laugh."
"I told him my dick was bigger than his," the man said.
The bartender asks, "How did you get him to cry?"
"I showed him," the man said with a smile.
heheheheheh - and just for reference, what movie is my signature from (not the bastard part)?
---------------------------------------
Resident bastard.
Fascinated with dick and fart jokes. |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2002 : 7:45:51 PM
|
I know!! I know!! It's from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back!!
How can you ever hope to mature when you're primarily interested with dick and fart jokes.
"War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left."
"Why would you even shake a man's hand if you're not going to help him stand." |
|
|
|
Black Lotus
Fluffy-Esque
Burkina Faso (Upper Volta)
1043 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2002 : 9:19:43 PM
|
quote:
I know!! I know!! It's from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back!!
How can you ever hope to mature when you're primarily interested with dick and fart jokes.
"War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left."
"Why would you even shake a man's hand if you're not going to help him stand."
That movie was so f'ing funny, I can't wait for it to come out on DVD. Too bad Jay is about to go to jail  .
---------------------------------------
I'm wearing 'push-up' undies. |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2002 : 9:32:14 PM
|
I love that movie! I have it on my hard drive...my favorite part is when Jay pretends to make out with a chick and then begins to preend to suck a dick "No wait!" That was hilarious!!
"War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left."
"Why would you even shake a man's hand if you're not going to help him stand." |
|
|
|
Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2002 : 11:34:16 PM
|
What is Jay going to jail for? There's the painfully obvious... but just in case that's not it.
-J
|
|
|
|
Black Lotus
Fluffy-Esque
Burkina Faso (Upper Volta)
1043 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2002 : 11:44:26 PM
|
quote:
What is Jay going to jail for? There's the painfully obvious... but just in case that's not it.
-J
He violated his probation by moving to California and not tellings probation officer. He was busted for herion charges and got a few years probation. Apparently, there's a warrant out for his arrest now and he's facing some time.
---------------------------------------
I'm wearing 'push-up' undies. |
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2002 : 12:47:30 AM
|
Man goes up to a bar, says to the bartender,"I'll bet you $100 I can stand at this end of your bar, and pee in a shot glass at that end of the bar."
Bartender thinks for a minute, looks at the distance, and says, "I'll take that bet!" Guy jumps up on the bar and walks to one end. Bartender puts a shot glass way at the other end of the bar.
Guy unzips his zipper, pulls out his dick and sizes up the shot glass. He starts peeing wildly. Pee is going everywhere, on the bartender, on the customers, all over the bar, everywhere but IN the shot glass.
Man puts his dick away and jumps down off the bar and reaches for his wallet.
Bartender laughing and smiling takes the $100 and says "You seem awfully happy for a guy who just lost $100."
Guy says, "It's OK, I bet the guys at that table over there $1000 I could jump up on your bar and piss everywhere and you would laugh about it."
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2002 : 01:04:42 AM
|
A lonely spinster, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She decided to put an ad in the local paper that read: “HUSBAND WANTED, must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants apply in person.”
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay she opened the door to see a gray haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs. She asked sardonically, “You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs!”
The old man smiled, “Therefore I cannot run around on you!”
She snorted, “You don’t have any hands either!”
Again the old man smiled, “Nor can I beat you!”
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently, “Are you still good in bed?”
With that, the old gentleman beamed a broad smile, “I rang the doorbell didn’t I?”
"War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left."
"Why would you even shake a man's hand if you're not going to help him stand." |
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2002 : 06:09:49 AM
|
He had no hands, what did he use to ring the doorbell? OH!! Woops!! A dick joke. I get it. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE(I laughed like a giddy schoolgirl in cotton panties)
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2002 : 2:33:28 PM
|
quote:
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE(I laughed like a giddy schoolgirl in cotton panties)
Marge, you know I can't say titmouse without giggling like a little school girl! Hehehehehehehehe!
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try." |
|
|
|
dirtysloth
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1302 Posts |
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2002 : 5:00:07 PM
|
And what's the deal with cardboard?!
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try." |
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 09:16:39 AM
|
I prefer to think of the giddy little schoolgirl in cotton panties!
The deal on cardboard is, $150 per metric ton. And thats the best deal you are gonna get. If you can find a better deal bring it in and we will match or beat it. Thats my guarantee to you!!
Fluffys Cardboard Emporium "We got everything for your BOX!!!"
located downtown between between the law offices of
Dewey, Cheetum, & Howe and Pcbdmb's PORNO PALACE, just look for the HUGH JASS sign with a picture of a spaghetti dick on it, and you will know your there. See ya soon!!(FREE Parking In the REAR)
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
Black Lotus
Fluffy-Esque
Burkina Faso (Upper Volta)
1043 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 10:47:31 AM
|
Schoolgirl ... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Y'know, my wife was a catholic school girl, rawr!
-
Stonimal rights activist with a dented ass. |
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 11:08:15 AM
|
My little Catholic Girls
Do you know how they go.....
after the show.....
All the way
thats the way they go.
HIP HIP HOORAY
and none of their mamas ever seem to know....
I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND and so does FRANK ZAPPA
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
dirtysloth
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1302 Posts |
|
|
enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 10:02:48 PM
|
shut yo mouth.
-Jason-
I am a servant of the power behind the nothing. |
|
|
|
dirtysloth
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1302 Posts |
|
|
Black Lotus
Fluffy-Esque
Burkina Faso (Upper Volta)
1043 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2002 : 11:58:12 PM
|
I totally forgot about that song until now ... I have to find my CD and listen to it.
-
Stonimal rights activist with a dented ass. |
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2002 : 5:51:34 PM
|
Pearl Jam Dirty Frank or Frank Zappa Catholic Girls
I have a PJ Dirty Frank T-shirt, the band tells me it is quite RARE and valuable. There were very few made and when they got sued they had to destroy the rest of them. So they only sold a few of them since no one really knew what it meant or about the song Dirty Frank. Surprise Surprise PJ fans didn't want a tour shirt dripping in blood. I did, I got one. According to the band I am one of the only people who got one. No one in the band even got to keep one. I think that is pretty KEWL.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
dirtysloth
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1302 Posts |
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2002 : 01:55:16 AM
|
Next time I locate it, I will snap a shot of the front and back and have mr. Soldo post them for ya, so you can see it. It is WAY KEWL!! That is if we can get him to ever post a picture again. Where the hell is he and where are the pics?
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2002 : 06:14:21 AM
|
quote:
Schoolgirl ... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Y'know, my wife was a catholic school girl, rawr!
Saucer of milk! Table two!
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try." |
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 01:49:45 AM
|
pcbdmb, LAY OFF THE WEED!!! Oh wait, I forgot, you're "as clean as they come". You must be getting a contact high from JAY. JAY, LAY OFF THE WEED!! and stop blowing it in pcbdmb's direction!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 02:51:09 AM
|
cough! cough! I can't see anything in this white smoke veil!! Can't...get....out....I........can't.....get........out...
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
 |
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 03:25:04 AM
|
JAY, LAY ON THE SMOKE!!! Maybe pcbdmb will be overcome by it and this posting nightmare will go away. HEHE
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 03:42:10 AM
|
Aha!! Fools!! Infidels!! You thought you could mess with the power of the electric fan!! Now feel my wrath!! Begone smoke of Satan! Amuse other teenagers with your white smoke of terror!!
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 03:55:54 AM
|
(Quietly, Fluffy turns the fan around, quickly pcbdmb is overcome by the heavenly smoke and drifts off into lala land!)
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 04:04:02 AM
|
NO!......MUST.....FIGHT.....TEMPTATION......MUST......NOT....ENHALE!!! (quickly and stealthfully, pcbdmb grabs fan out of Fluffy's unsuspecting hands and forces a greater wind of smoke from the weed and now a 1000 cigarettes at once!!) (as Fluffy chokes slowly to death, pcbdmb disappears into the abyss)
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 04:10:26 AM
|
(Never to be seen or heard from again)I doubt it!!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 04:13:41 AM
|
I'M BACK!!!!.......I forgot my wallet....
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 04:26:10 AM
|
(Fluffy throws pcbdmb's wallet down the abyss and shoves pcbdmb after it, never to be seen again)
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 04:32:17 AM
|
Fluuuuufffffyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!........Thhhhhaaaaaaattttt waaaaaasssss yoooouurrrr waaaaallllleeeeetttttt!!!!!!
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 04:42:53 AM
|
(in bad british accent)What's in yer wallet?
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 04:46:34 AM
|
Why Capitol One of course!!
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 04:59:16 AM
|
I think you deserve CAPITAL PUNISHMENT!!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:01:38 AM
|
Is that capitOl or capitAl?
I'm just kidding. I fully understand when to use each term.
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:13:17 AM
|
Are you sure? I wouldn't want to have to berate you about the difference!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:18:16 AM
|
No Damn it!! Capital is used for "capitalizing' letters or when referred to our current economic system. Capitol refers to the credit cards and to the "leading city" of each state. (e.g. Sacramento is the capitol of California and begins with a capital S)
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:24:48 AM
|
WOW!! I am impressed!!! Now from the top, DUEL and DUAL?
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:30:33 AM
|
I challenge you to a DUEL with DUAL swords at Phoenix, the CAPITOL of Arizona, which is spelled with a CAPITAL P.
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:34:29 AM
|
By Jove, I think he's got it. And they say you can't learn anything from a message board. I have taught you more than they taught you in school. See you should quit school and spend all your time on the message board. Much more to be learned here.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:38:31 AM
|
Are you kidding? I've posted aboot 200 times in the last 2 days. Like I'll ever be able to go back to school...for I have seen the edge and I have looked into the abyss (and almost fallen into it a couple of times) and laughed into it!
"You tried your best and you failed miserably...the lesson is: Never Try."
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:41:49 AM
|
quote:
for I have seen the edge and I have looked into the abyss (and almost fallen into it a couple of times)
with YOUR wallet!!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:43:42 AM
|
No no....with YOUR wallet!!
"I do what I can with what I've got." |
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:47:26 AM
|
MY wallet is right here! I beg to differ, that was YOUR wallet!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:48:31 AM
|
But wait! Mine's here too!......then who's was that?
"I do what I can with what I've got." |
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 05:52:46 AM
|
Silky's, It seemed a little heavy, must be all that pimpin' money!!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 1:31:02 PM
|
I got hoes... I got hoooooooooooooooes, in diff'rent area codes (area), area codes (codes)...
-J
|
|
|
|
Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 4:14:11 PM
|
Are you saying you have different AREA hoes, or different hoes CODES?
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
|
|
|
pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 6:49:56 PM
|
A little from column A, a little from column B....
"I do what I can with what I've got." |
|
|
|
Black Lotus
Fluffy-Esque
Burkina Faso (Upper Volta)
1043 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 10:01:34 PM
|
Silky is an equal opportunity employer in the game.
-
Stonimal rights activist with a dented ass. |
|
|
|
Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 10:11:28 PM
|
Fluffy if you've not heard it yet... download the song "Area Codes" by Ludacris. I don't like much rap, but that is one great song.
-J
|
|
|
|
Black Lotus
Fluffy-Esque
Burkina Faso (Upper Volta)
1043 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 10:16:43 PM
|
I still think Big Pimpin' is the best song ever.
-
Stonimal rights activist with a dented ass. |
|
|
|
Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2002 : 10:19:51 PM
|
This is my new favorite... Ludacris is great.
-J
|
|
|
|
Black Lotus
Fluffy-Esque
Burkina Faso (Upper Volta)
1043 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2002 : 09:30:41 AM
|
I'll have to check out the new Ludacris song.
-
Stonimal rights activist with a dented ass. |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
For Black Lotus
