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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
 Posted - 12/12/2001 : 02:46:37 AM
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I know there are so many greats to choose from, here's one of mine:
Lou-"You know, I went to the McDonalds in Shelbyville friday night."
Cheif Wiggum-"The McWhat!?"
L-"McDonalds's restaurant, I've never heard of it either-but uh, they have over 2,000 locations in this state alone."
Other Cop guy-"Must have sprung up overnight."
L-"You know the funniest thing though? It's the little differences."
CW-"Example."
L-"Well at McDonalds you can buy a Krustyburger w/ cheese but they don't call it a Krustyburger w/ cheese."
CW-"Get out! Well what do they call it?"
L-"A quarter pounder w/ cheese."
CW-"Quarter pounder w/ cheese!? Well, I can picture the cheese but...uhh; Do they have Krusty Partially-gelatonated non-dairy gum-based beverages?"
L-"Mmmhmm, they call`em Shakes."
OCG-"Huh, shakes, you don't know what you're getting."
CW-"Well I know what I'm gettin: Some Doughnuts!"
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 03:37:16 AM
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Burns: Oh and that man who pushed me out the window...see that he gets what's coming to him.
Smithers: I already have, sir.
Bart: How did you get this dad? (refering to fruit basket)
Homer: For pushing Mr. Burns out of a third story window.
Lisa: Did he die?
Homer: What am I, a doctor?
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 03:53:00 AM
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Homer: hey Marge, you smoke?
Marge: yes, I just thought that I'd fill the house with the rich smell of tobacco
Homer: Geez, you're crazy. I'm gonna get some fresh air.
Marge: NO!!
Homer: What! What are you hiding me from? What's that smell? Beef? Oregano? Chili powder? Oh no! the chili cookoff! I'm missing the cookooooooff. I'm missing the cookooooff.
Marge: Oh! the only reason I did this was to prevent you from making a fool of yourself. Remember last year.
Homer: Hey! Look at me! I'm a puffy, pink cloud! Ha ha.
Homer: Oh sure. Everything looks bad if you remember it! Now where are my chili boots. Aaaaahh, here we are.
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 04:14:40 AM
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here's the second half that I really like.
Lenny: (gasp) he's here. the man with the iron stomach. (Homer pulls out spoon) they say he carved it..from a bigger spoon.
Homer: (tasting Moe's chili) hmmm..a mild concoction for patients returning from surguery. Ha ha
Homer: (tasting Ned's chili) 5 alarm chili ayyy. Let's see...one...two..hey. it's only two.
Ned: I know it's only two..two and a half tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.
Todd: Are you going to jail daddy?
Ned: we'll see son...we'll see.
Wiggum: that Simpson. he thinks he's the pope of chilitown. I've got a surprise for him this year...the merciless peppers of Xenowatineo (I don't know). Brewed by the patients of a Guatimalan insane asylum.
Homer: Hello chief.
Wiggum: evening Homer. would you like some chili?
Homer: aaahh Wiggy, my chili's getting cold.
(peppers touches Homer's mouth and he runs off screaming)
Homer: Water! water!(grabs about ten beers)
Marge: Homer! You promised not to drink.
Homer: (slurred) but I need it!(then drinks water and picks up candle)
Ralph: mister..you're drinking a candle. You don't want hot wax in your mouth. Do you?
Homer: maybe I do son..maybe I do.(drinks candle and spits out wax) outstanding!
Wiggum: oohhh looks who's back. it's the biiig baby. oohh oohh this porridge is too hot. waaa waaa. (Homer puts out spoon) More huh? sure here you go. heck, it's not my job to talk people out of killing themselves.
Homer (swollows it): More please. (Wiggum shocked gives him three more) Ha ha! don't quit your day job chief..whatever that is.
Dr. Hibbert: I don't understand it. My all medical logic, steam should be shooting out of his ears.
Krusty: His ears if we're lucky.
that's all I can think of now. don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow.
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 1:23:09 PM
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When marge said "What the dillio"
Patriotism is a maggot in their heads. - Henry D. Thoreau |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 1:30:06 PM
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Moe: well Homer's out. looks like we need another Ambrose Burnside.
Barney: well I'm not too crazy about our Stonewall Jackson either
Apu(emerging from bathroom): the South shall come again.
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 2:52:55 PM
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I have 3:
1: Anything Mr Burns says!
2: Dooouuuggghhhnuutts!!!!(drooling)
3: DOAH!!!!!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy          |
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GuitarGuy305
Alien Abductee
USA
2007 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 3:04:01 PM
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I'm not sure what episode it was in, but I remember this one where Homer was in his car, and it was rolling down a hill out of control. He went to roll out of the car to save himself...rollled out of the car, down the hill in a circle, and right back into the car again. God damn that was funny.
Doh!!!
Adam
And on the 8th day God created the art of war...and laughing, planned the end.
Email: Guitar_Boy1@yahoo.com
AIM: GuitarGuy305 |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 4:47:27 PM
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that was the one where Moe gets a girlfriend and Homer pretends to steal the car so Moe can get 5K.
Also, from that episode
"Moooooooeeee! yooooouuuu kiiiilleeed meeeee!"
"I didn't kill you Homer. You're just in jail."
"Oh right(disappears and comes back) Hey wait a minute! I'm in jail because of you!"
"Must kill Moe. Weeeeee! Must kill Moe. Weeeeeeee!"
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 5:37:27 PM
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"Hey Lou! Get over here and check out this parking job!"
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 7:09:31 PM
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Burns: I better see if that lolligagger has left yet.
Homer: Hi Mr. Burns! Do you want your coffee now?
Burns: uh..no! Hear that? The percalations are iminent. Don't come in. uh..cease you your ingress.
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 7:31:01 PM
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HA! and he has the big bags of coffe beans out! Classic
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 8:05:22 PM
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Marge: Bart's grades are up a little this term. Oh but Lisa's are way down.
Homer: Oohhh. We always have one good kid, and one lousy kid. Why can't both our kids be good?
Marge: We have three kids Homer.
Homer: Marge, the dog doesn't count as a kid.
Marge: I meant Maggie!
Homer: Oh yeah.
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 8:12:22 PM
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Lisa: Owww mom, Bart's throwing peas at me!
Marge: Homer, do something.
Homer: Lisa, stop getting in the way of your wealthy brother's peas.
Lisa: Owwww! That was a big one!
Bart: Ugh! Meatloaf! My most hated of all loaves.(gives some to Santa's Little Helper)
Homer: Aaahhh! But that was the end piece! All right, that's it. Being abusive to your family is one thing. But I will not stand idly by and watch you feed a hungry dog.
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 8:18:58 PM
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here's one of my favorite (In case you couldn't tell, I have a lot)
Marge: Homer, could you clean Maggie up? She's spilled her food all over herself.
Homer: Can do!(puts Maggie on floor and whistles) Oh Laddie. Come'er boy. Who wants to lick a messy baby? Laddie?
Bart: Ummm..mom, I gave Laddie away.
Marge: Ohh..what's the matter, didn't you like him?
Bart: Yeah he was great but he just wasn't for me.
Marge: That's OK. Let's just go down to the pound and pick up Santa's Little Helper.
Bart: We can't. I kinda...gave him away too.
Homer: You gave BOTH dogs away?! You know how I feel about giving!
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jsoldo
Administrator
USA
286 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 8:24:17 PM
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Milhouse: I'ts like Speed 2, but with a bus!
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Bart: I tipped the Feds off to the where-abouts of our good friend Milhouse
Milhouse: Oh no! Not again!
Peace On Earth
Jon 
"Behold, the power of cheese"  |
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 9:41:53 PM
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Moe-What ya do is, invite the guy over to you house for dinner, and right when he's not expectin it-BAM: the old fork in the eye!
Homer-Could that be done w/o the "Fork-in-the-eye?"
Moe-Eh, there's a first time for everything.
Hank Azaria is GOD.
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2001 : 11:03:46 PM
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Homer: I seemed to have missplaced my pants.
Patriotism is a maggot in their heads. - Henry D. Thoreau |
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Isaac
Chatterbox
USA
461 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2001 : 09:16:38 AM
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Lisa - "This pile of sugar is full of nails and broken glass"
Homer - "those are prizes!"
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Bart - "If your ever not sure whether or not you should eat something you can always do the paper test. Simply rub the food on a peice of paper and if it turns clear then its good to eat"
*bart rubs the burger on the wall of the fast food joint, the wall turns clear, a bird slams into the clear spot and slides down the wall
Bart - "its your window to weight gain."
____________________________________________________
Isaac
"And when King Alexander saw the breadth of his domain he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer" |
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Jason
Chatterbox
194 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2001 : 2:45:27 PM
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I particularly like the one where the critic comes to dinner and then burps louder than homer and the burp knocks maggies passifier out of her mouth...that one is hillarious.
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2001 : 5:05:43 PM
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Homer: these kids don't need a babysitter Marge.
Bart: He's right. We don't need a babysitter.
Homer: Wait a minute(pulls out index card that says Do The Opposite Of Everything The Boy Says) hmmm...you DO need a babysitter!
Bart: Blast that infernal card! Don't give me that card.
Homer: Here you g..NOOOO!
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2001 : 9:13:42 PM
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Bart: Mom, Milhouse is fidgiting again. I'm gonna tighten his straps.
Homer: Come on, Lisa!(takes suitcase) Hmmmmm...someone's traveling light.
Lisa: Maybe you're just getting stronger.
Homer: Well, I have been eating more.
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2001 : 9:23:40 PM
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Homer: Hmmm...I'm sure this place sells illegal fireworks. Just act casual like you buy them all the time. Umm yeah...gimme some of those porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, some panty shields, some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas...ehh, make it two.
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2001 : 9:31:03 PM
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here's my all-time favorite one-liner
"Sweet merciful crap! My car!"
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2001 : 11:39:34 PM
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Car Salesman guy: So are you going to buy the car?
(Fat Tony and his henchmen just shot at the car trying to hit Homer)
Homer: I don't think so...it has all those bullet holes in it...
CS: No, those aren't bullet holes, them are Speed Holes! Makes the car go faster!
H: Speed holes ey.....
FAST FORWARD
Homer putting holes in the hood of his car w/ a pickax back at home.
Flanders: Whatcha doing there neighborino?
Homer: Making speed holes
Flanders: OOO, maybe the ol' Flandermobile could use a few speed holes of it's own!
Homer: Yeah great Flanders.
I think I butchered that, but u get the jist.
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2001 : 12:23:14 AM
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Anything... virtually anything with gill in it.
Patriotism is a maggot in their heads. - Henry D. Thoreau |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2001 : 01:04:53 AM
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yep. you can't beat a Calico. Now let's talk rustproofing. These Calicos will rust up on you like that! Shut up Gil. Close the deal. Close the deal.
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2001 : 02:21:44 AM
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so I says to maybelle I says...
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KevinLesko
Alien Abductee
3712 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2001 : 2:30:52 PM
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Good God, This is worse than asking me my favorite TR song. Lets see there have been what, 11 seasons, about 30 episodes per season, and each episode has roughly 15 "classic lines". That makes about 5000 great Simpsons moments, NO WAY I can name just one, but off the top of my head:
Bart steals a car, has a fake licence, and is stuck in Tennessee. Lisa tells Homer but says he can't get mad. Homers face gets all red and he says "Wow... thats quite a pickle... excuse me Lisa.... (puts head in a nuclear helmet) *&%&#(^%#(&^%$#($#^$#$#"
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2001 : 3:54:40 PM
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HA, "Uhh Bart, shouldn't you be driving the car?"
"Cruise Control my man."
AND
"Bart! Nelson's Hit me!"
"He sure did."
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2001 : 4:24:59 PM
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Bart: "Ouch! Quit it! Ouch! Quit it! Ouch! Quit it! Ouch! Quit it!
Ouch! Quit it! Ouch! Quit it!..........etc"
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Jamie M
Chatterbox
Canada
404 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2001 : 5:23:35 PM
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Homer: Three simple words: I am gay.
__________________________
Homer: I am so smart, S-M-R-T, i mean S-M-A-R-T.
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Frank Grimes: You've been to the moon?!?!
Homer: What, you've never been?
__________________________
On TV(the movie Alive): "Pass me another hunk of co-pilot."
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Mr Burns breaks into Lisa'a room accidentally.
Lisa: Santa?
Mr Burns: No, go back to bed little girl.
__________________________
"Stupid baby?! Stupid babies need the most attention."
__________________________
Flanders: Hidyho! Welcome to your new home neglecterinos.
__________________________
Bart hits guy in the face with frisbee.
Bart: Sorry man...
Guy: uh?
Bart: About the frisbee...
Guy: uh? Frisbee?
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2001 : 7:18:35 PM
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Moe:"Where have you been Homa'? The entire Steel industry's gone gay."
Moe: "Yeah, and their diet sodies and MTV ain't helpin 'em neitha'. Time was you send a boy off ta war: shootin a man would set him straight, but their ain't even any wars no more."
Barney:"He could shoot a deer, that's like shooting a beautiful man..."
Later that episode when their driving back from hunting and Bart hadn't shot a deer:
Moe:"Hey, relax Homa', we can still turn your other kid, what's her name, Lisa into a man!"
Homer:"Nah, she'd never do it, she's a vegetarian."
Moe:"WHA!? Homa', you and Marge ain't cousins are ya!?"
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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jen-jen
Is Anybody Here?
USA
48 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2001 : 4:07:24 PM
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From: The TOMACCO episode.
Homer: I'm only one man MARGE!
:) JEN (:
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2001 : 5:47:35 PM
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Lisa: It may be bleek. But this music really gets to the crowd.
Bart: Eh. Making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel.
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MC
Try A Little Harder
USA
75 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2001 : 6:20:53 PM
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[the episode where Homer steals all the sugar when the truck overturns]
Homer: (in a Colombian accent) "In America, first you get de sugar, den you get de power, den you get de women"
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[ Bootleging / Red Barron Episode]
Marge: Homer, what are you doing down there?
Homer: Marge, I'm not going to lie to you....(just walks away)
"Turn it into love, man. Whatever's fucked up in the world, just turn it into love. Take in the bad and give out the good, otherwise we're all gonna die and go to hell." T.R. |
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2001 : 8:04:24 PM
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Groundskeeper Willy: "ACK!!! My retirement Grease!!!"
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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Jamie M
Chatterbox
Canada
404 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2001 : 10:40:12 PM
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Operator: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. Please mash the keypad for operator assistance on how to obtain a special dialing rod.
(something like that, havent seen the episode for like 3 years. one of the best)
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 12:06:21 AM
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"oooo, a Garage, well la-ti-da"
"Well what do u call it?"
"A Car Hole!"
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"These Tomatoes taste like grandma!"
"Yeah, give me a bushel or a pack or whatever I don't care!"
"People always tell you to color inside the lines, [but] who drew the lines in the first place? [Think about that.]" -Victor Wooten |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 12:26:45 AM
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Lisa: I hope you realize that you are sponsoring a cutt-throat pirate.
Man: A pirate?! Well that's hardly the figure we want for Long John Silver's!
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Topic |
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Favorite Simpsons' Moments
