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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
 Posted - 07/24/2003 : 02:41:14 AM
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Okay...these are the ultimate stress releiver...And a good substitute for smoking, that is, if you're trying to quit, or just can't smoke at the moment. I can't stop chewing on them, they're fantastic! They only take a few seconds, too!!! I'm loving these things!
You gotta have:
A Pan, or shallow pot
Water...like a cup or two, probably...
Jasmine Tea (Anything will work, really, but jasmine smells pretty)
50 or so toothpicks
Sugar
Honey
Lemon
Paper Towels
Boil about two cups of water...I mean boil, too, none of that cheap "Well it IS steaming" jive shit you hear in some parts of Texas...Really boil the hell out of that water. Then drop two or three Jasmine Tea bags into the water, strings and all. You can use any kind of tea, but Jasmine smells great. So let that boil for ten minutes or so, long enough for the water to get really, really dark and strong-smelling.
Grab about 50 toothpicks and chuck them in the pot or pan...whatever cooking vesel you are using...and let them float around in the water for a couple of minutes until they start to obsorb the water a little. Dump about 2/3 cup of sugar in the water, and stir it to help it disolve...Remember to keep the heat setting on your stove at it's highest temperature at all times!
Once the sugar is disolved, keep stirring the toothpicks and pushing them around in the boiling pot of tea. Now get a bottle of honey. Squeeze about 1/3 cup of it into the pot, or more if you want to, it really doesn't matter. Again, stir like crazy to keep everything moving. By this time, there should be quite a lot of bubbling going on...The entire pan should look like a big mass of bubbles, almost no liquid present. Don't worry if this doesn't happen, it really doesn't matter if it does or doesn't...I just thought it looked cool.
Grab a lemon. Roll it on your countertop for a while so the juices break up. Cut it in half, and stick a fork in the wide end of each half. That's the side with the fruit on it...Twist the fork and squeeze the lemon until all the juice runs out and into the pot. Squeeze as much juice as you can from each lemon half, and make sure all of it goes into the pot. Stir like crazy. Keep stiring for another five minutes or so.
Take the pan of the burner and run lots of cold water in it. Keep the toothpicks inside the pan! Once they've cooled down some, you'll notice a yellowy-clear substance I have called "Velderschmoot" It's really just the lemon, sugar, and honey reducing into a gel-like substance...It's really sweet tasting, and quite good, but you have to get rid of it. Dump the toothpicks in a small bowl, and cover them with very cold water. Rub them and rinse them in teh water until all teh Velderschmoot is removed. Now dry the toothpicks between two paper towels an' eat them fuckers. Delish. |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2003 : 09:49:07 AM
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Jay, lay off the weed!  jeez I haven't said that for quite some TIMe, hehehe You are too funny! |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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genome
Fluffy-Esque
1098 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2003 : 10:20:12 AM
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| And next, on Cooking With Toothpicks: Why we can't digest wood. |
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thomasode
Yak Addict
565 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2003 : 1:36:24 PM
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| Jay! these are great man!!!!!!! |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2003 : 1:53:55 PM
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| sounds complicated... and splintery. |
Remember, turn off your tv. Read. |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2003 : 1:58:27 PM
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well, you s[it them oot, ya know!  |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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genome
Fluffy-Esque
1098 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2003 : 3:01:42 PM
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| oh I didn't get that part. |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2003 : 7:04:50 PM
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| hehehe just to clear things up here, I'm totally 100% serious about this...It really works! |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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thomasode
Yak Addict
565 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2003 : 8:04:19 PM
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| I can vouche for that, they rock! |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 07/25/2003 : 12:16:42 AM
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Hmmmmmmm.....
I'm greatly intrigued by these wooden delicacies. Perhaps I will try them. |
Steve Hackett: "I'm my own opening act, you see."
Tim (before "Faceoff"): "Peace, love....and SEX!"
cbenc41@hotmail.com |
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The most wonderful thing just came from my kitchen
