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Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
 Posted - 08/06/2002 : 10:02:50 PM
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This guy HAD to have been put on this planet for the sole purpose of my amusement.
Anyway... after I finished my exam this afternoon, I was on my way back to my apartment when I pulled up to an intersection next to a Nissan ? truck that was the epitome of good taste. It was slammed, had big chrome wheels where you couldn't even see the top of the tires because it was so low, clear tail lights, coffee can exhaust, and a big stainless steel spoiler that I swear was mounted to the tailgate. Anyway, about 150 yards ahead, the right lane is closed off for construction, so I was going to need to get over. When I came to a stop next to this monument of rice rocket meets redneck... the young guy wastes no time looking over at me and asks if I want to run until the lane ends. I started to crack up because it was such a stupid/dangerous idea, but I humored him and said "sure," even though I had no intention of doing so... He then actually said, and I couldn't believe it... "I got nozz." I just said "that's cool," and looked ahead at the light and tried my best not to laugh (damn The FAast and Furious for putting these ideas into dumbasses heads!). Anyway, from the right lane, I could see the traffic light for the cars going perpendicular to us, and as their light turned yellow, I put it in first and I looked over at the guy and just pointed off to the left and said, "Holy shit look over there!" He ACTUALLY LOOKED over just as our light turned green and I just eased on forward and over into the left lane while he was stunned. This was funny enough to make my day... but my week would soon follow.
The right lane isn't closed off for very long so the guy was still behind me, riding my ass, when it opens back up and I just got back into the right lane and he pulled up next to me and just started screaming obscenities at me... "You fuckin pussy... you don't back out of a race... you can't cheat your way out you fuckin dickhead!" He was just going on and on, and here is where the man upstairs can show that he has a sense of humor. The next light turns red and the guy was just eying me down as though I had just run over his dog and he revved his engine at me this time. Now this intersection is set up such that the traffic from the left comes from an angle a little behind perpendicular... I only say this because of his field of vision comes into play. As I was looking over at the guy with what had to be a shit eating grin on my face at this point, a cop was pulling into the left hand turning lane of the left part of the intersection... at this point I was just cracking up and I pointed over to the cop and said to the guy, "Hey man, there's a cop over there." He just cursed me out some more, "You fuckin asshole, I'm not looking again..." I said, "No man, really... there's a cop over there" and kept pointing and laughing. Well, he wasn't going to look off to the left after what had happened the minute before. Our light turned green and he just peeled out... It goes without saying that the cop jumped all over him and I just liesurely kept on going to my apartment.
Hehe... I still can't believe the focker actually looked when I said, "Holy shit look over there!" Ahhhh... rednecks. :)
-J
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revrendmaynard14
Chatterbox
USA
359 Posts |
Posted - 08/06/2002 : 10:14:20 PM
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That's great, them rednecks are dumb as fuck..lmao...
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 08/06/2002 : 10:18:52 PM
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That's friggin hilarious. 
"Get up an move... or I'll put a curse on you... that all your children will be born naked." – Hendrix |
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 08/06/2002 : 10:24:50 PM
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Silky, that's officially my heartiest laugh of the day, you sneaky bastard.
I am not the albatross of love, I am the human ellipsis. I am dot dot dot. |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 08/06/2002 : 11:27:18 PM
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Great story man! I love riceboys! We have a dragway near me where my borhter used to race, adn man oh man, you'd see Dogde neons with racing strips over the top, chrome wheels, everything...what a sight to see!
Jay
" It's a scavenger hunt in the best of times, a one armed man with a box of dimes. Throw the stick and let the bulldog roll." KJP |
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LizT
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1687 Posts |
Posted - 08/07/2002 : 9:16:29 PM
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Silky you are a riot! And a brave soul to mess with rednecks. I avoid them as much as possible.
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 08/08/2002 : 12:05:00 AM
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Good stradigy, Liz! Unfortunately, I can't avoid them becasue i live in HICKVILLE! THey are everywhere, i swear it!
Jay
" It's a scavenger hunt in the best of times, a one armed man with a box of dimes. Throw the stick and let the bulldog roll." KJP |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 08/08/2002 : 12:29:01 AM
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ha, rednecks.
- Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces.
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My_Bad_Side
Alien Abductee
2000 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2002 : 12:56:36 AM
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Redneck: what a cross-geographical description for such.... "people."
I'm schizophrenic. And so am I. am I. am I. am I. |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2002 : 02:00:02 AM
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THey are everywhere...shit! Even in hte Movies! THat time i went there were five mullets in front of me with cans of beer they "smuggled" in...god, it was annoying! OH! and they had sopme country artist t-shirts on..."Hat-music" t-shirts.
Jay
" It's a scavenger hunt in the best of times, a one armed man with a box of dimes. Throw the stick and let the bulldog roll." KJP |
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My_Bad_Side
Alien Abductee
2000 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2002 : 5:08:54 PM
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Hat music, heheheheh....
Hey, do people like Country music where you all are? I mean, here, it's an foregone conclusion...this is from where most of it comes...
But what about other places, mainly more north than here. Anyone?
I'm schizophrenic. And so am I. am I. am I. am I. |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2002 : 5:41:32 PM
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Well, where there are farms, there are hat-music fans.
Jay
" It's a scavenger hunt in the best of times, a one armed man with a box of dimes. Throw the stick and let the bulldog roll." KJP |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2002 : 03:46:26 AM
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Great story! I've always been annoyed by those people who "soup up" their cars solely for the purpose of burning gas faster and louder.
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2002 : 03:40:14 AM
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It is said that people like that are making up for a lack of penis size. Big, powerful, muscle car = small dick. I still make comments to passengers riding with me when I see cars like that. Something like, "Must have a small dick, HEHE" or "Wow!! I wish I had a small dick, errrr, I mean a kewl car!"
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy          |
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KevinLesko
Alien Abductee
3712 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2002 : 03:47:11 AM
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quote:
It is said that people like that are making up for a lack of penis size. Big, powerful, muscle car = small dick.
At this point, I'd like to point out that I drive a 1989 ford escort with a missing hub-cap
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2002 : 04:29:07 AM
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Kevin "BIG DICK" Lesko could be your wrestling name. And ladies, he has big feet and a small car, need I say more.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Funny story from the drive home this afternoon...
