| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| thekiller |
Posted - 03/20/2005 : 3:47:27 PM
starting To write songs and want some hlep. know this is the wrong site but cant find help enywerhe.
going to play this osng live next week
"The Metaphorical Well of my Soul"
The well of my soul,
Has truly run dry,
Its's only a metaphor,
But it really happened.
The tears I have cried,
Have mutilated my face like a horrible flesh eating disease,
You spat in my face,
And put a cucumber in my bottom.
Chorus
My soul is hurt, destroyed,
You literally sh*t on my heart,
Why must you rain on my parade?
Rain sh*t that is.
I look for a place to hide, a place to lick my wounds,
My right ventricle is aching,
My very being has been questioned,
Questioned metaphorically, but it really happened.
I need someone to talk to,
Not shove vegtables in my rectum,
You had your chance and you p*ssed it away,
Why must you feel the need to nibble my belly button?
My soul is hurt, destroyed,
You literally sh*t on my heart,
Why must you rain on my parade?
Rain sh*t that is. |
| 6 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| dan p. |
Posted - 03/21/2005 : 11:06:02 AM
some of the verses seem out of balance as far as sylables go. |
| Hopeful Rolling Waves |
Posted - 03/21/2005 : 08:53:23 AM
I think that 'metaphorical well' you're dealing with is dry.
BTW, what part of Kyrgyzstan are you from? Bishkek? |
| Muskrat |
Posted - 03/20/2005 : 11:23:59 PM
If you're starting to write, I suggest a spelling/punctuation class to get you started. It helps. |
| zakkwyle234 |
Posted - 03/20/2005 : 4:48:41 PM
they don't go together in real life OR songs lol....but it is an interestin song. |
| guitarisPIMP |
Posted - 03/20/2005 : 4:41:55 PM
enywerhe....that's quite a typo there.
I liked it, but would definitely agree with the vegetables thing. Something about veggies and anusses that i don't really think go well together in a song. |
| zakkwyle234 |
Posted - 03/20/2005 : 3:56:30 PM
It's definetly different. Maybe you should just drop the parts about the vegies, but...it's up to you. |
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