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Erich
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1427 Posts |
 Posted - 06/02/2005 : 5:12:54 PM
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Your ass apparently has a very distinct social importance. Obviously, being a dumbass is looked down upon. But so is being a wiseass or a smart ass. It's therefor advisable to keep your ass at a moderate intelligence, to comply with social standards. Average Ass Quotient is a must. Also, your ass must be of a particular quantity. Being a wholeass, a derivation of Asshole meant to imply the thoroughness of one's ass-like being, is quite negative, but so is doing anything half-assed. It is then highly recomended to remain at just a piece of ass, which is a compliment amongst most.
Your ass also must be of a certain consistency; it's no good to become a hardass or a tightass. This must not be confused with having a tight ass, which is a redeemable quality. "Shes got a tight ass, but is a tightass". And though sometimes its acceptable to have a big ass, this must not be mistaken for things that are big-ass, implying an item of a much grander scale. "Linsey Lohan, she's got some big-ass titties". Please note the absence of Lindsey's big ass.
Theres also a discrepancy as to the connotation which your ass implies. Having a nice ass is well and good, but so is being badass. In other words, having a nice ass is badass shit. And the treatment your ass recieves is just as important. Being a kissass is frowned upon, and anything that sucks or blows ass is deemed bad, but if something is kickass its quite appeasing. Be sure to note the discrepancy between having your ass kicked, and something being kickass. "Did you see the kickass way that I kicked her ass?"
Ass may also be used to give a higher level of importance to any adjective, your ass being the defining characteristic. "This is a crazy-ass party!". Though this phrase may imply that the party's central theme is ass, it is mostly referencing the ass-like, and thus more important, qualities of its craziness. Other such phrases include shifty-ass, sickly-ass, horny-ass, Nordic Beastly-ass, and shitty-ass. "Get your shitty-ass shoes off my fucking carpet". Not only is the subject's shoes regarded as shitty, but apparently, so is his ass. How ass-tute.
Ass may also do the same for any noun. For example, being a bitch-ass slut. Not only are you a slut, and a bitch, but... YOUR ASS! When ass is used as as part of a compound noun, the fun is endless:
Asshat
-- One who is regarded as a garment specifically made for your ass
Ass monkey
-- An ass with simian qualities
Ass bandit
-- One who practices ass-theivery, also known as "The Rogue Chocolate Factory Employee".
Ass munch
-- One fond of the anal culinary experience. Also known as "Ass gobbler".
Ass clown
-- A receptacle for ass related humour
Ass wipe
-- Hillary Clinton |
~pw'oikr
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The importance of, and many uses for, your ASS
