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KevinLesko
Alien Abductee
3712 Posts |
 Posted - 11/11/2001 : 04:58:54 AM
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but it's a dirty one, so if you are at all easily offended, then this is not for you... This has to be the most random thing ever, my roomates and I were laughing a good hour over these
I'm warning you, these are bad...
Top Ten Ways to Be "The Funny Guy" in your office.
10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't. Then punch them in the mouth.
9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone how you're just kidding, and tell them that they are all a bunch of queers.
8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard; then during the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you're hocking up a big loogie, then spit the custard into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "beat that!"
7. Inform a male coworker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker" then piss in his coffee and tellhim he needs a "good assfucking."
6. Always walk around with a big smile and keep one hand down the front of your pants.
5. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know!" then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.
4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts, getting them really sweaty, then walk around shaking everyone's hand.
3. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and yell "IT WON'T STOP! GOD HELP ME! IT WON'T STOP!" then when it stops look down and say "ohhhhh..."
2. Ask to borrow someone else's pen; bring it to the bathroom; stick it in your ass; return it and tell the person to smell it; when they say that it smells bad, be like "Well it should! I had it in my ass!"
1. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them its the fake plastic kind -- when they try to pick it up and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.
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Erich with an h
Yak Addict
USA
853 Posts |
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LizT
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1687 Posts |
Posted - 11/11/2001 : 11:55:36 AM
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Hey Kevin, I think that's some funny shit! Shit is a powerful word, just think of all the concepts and ideas you can communicate with it.
You can be shit faced, be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains. With a little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to get off the pot.
You can smoke shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, and tell others to eat shit and die. You can shit or go blind, have a shit fit or just shit your life away.
People can be shit headed, and shit over.
Some people know their shit while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits,dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits.
there is bull shit, and horse shit and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can take shit,give shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself deep in shit, or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and Some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit,things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you swim in a lake of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
Shit! When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of creation.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!
Author Unknown |
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crash258
Chatterbox
USA
256 Posts |
Posted - 11/11/2001 : 1:57:12 PM
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Thats the funniest *shit* Ive heard all day.
No really, thats some funny shit!
ha,
Philip
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 11/13/2001 : 04:12:51 AM
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Whats Shit?
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy    ( <>..<> ) |
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Xar666
Yak Addict
USA
546 Posts |
Posted - 11/13/2001 : 07:16:58 AM
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Lunch.
-Xar666
We're going to Vegas to croak a scag baron named Savage Henry. I've known him for years but he ripped us off. And you know what that means... |
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crash258
Chatterbox
USA
256 Posts |
Posted - 11/13/2001 : 12:41:14 PM
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Dude, thats sick.
Enough with the scat play, already.
wish I was high, but Im at school right now,
Philip |
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Joke inside....
