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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
 Posted - 09/15/2003 : 7:00:17 PM
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Now, I'm very happy for him and his wife...I think that they will have a long and very happy life together...but god damn, that weddding sucked.
First of all, they told me that I couldn't go if I didn't cut my hair...Well, I should say my brother's wife...And she was 100% serious. That not only made me mad, it hurt me. I've spent 2 years growing my hair, and it's part of me now. I'm not going to cut it so some rich brat can get married to my brother! So I had to put it in a pony tail (I looked like the guy from Penn & Teller). The tux's we had to rent were 180 bucks...all for something that I'm going to wear for 6 hours then give back...That also pissed me off. I could understand wearing something nice of course, but those things were rediculous. And of course, when my brother's wife saw my ponytail, she flipped and gave me this look like "You just ruined my wedding!" Now, I'm welcoming her into MY family. If she doesn't like the way I look, she shouldn't have made me a groomsman.
So uh, we got a big limo bus, and that thing rocked. I had a few beers and was doing just fine, all happy dandy and cheery. My brother's wife has to spoil things by revealing the contents of my junk box in my closet. Let's just say a bunch of ciggarette butts and some empty packs, some personal letters to friends that I would NOT want anyone to read, and things like that. She had to go into descriptive details, calling everyone's attention in the limo to her so they could hear. And it wasn't all in fun, it was in revenge...because I have long hair, and I didn't feel like changing a part of me I love just to make some rich girl who never showed me any love at all happy. So, I was embarassed beyond beleif, mostly because she said it right in front of her relatives, who I was trying my hardest to befriend. Now, she made me feel like a total fuckhead by these people, and that greatly effected my night.
At the reception, I was greated by a lovely glare for letting my hair down. I didn't say a word to her, and she didn't say a word to me, or even look at me, for the rest of the night. For me being me. Now tell me, if a chick like that tried to join your family, would you allow it? I wouldn't, but I had no choice. So I got pissed drunk on Ketel One thanks to my Uncle Flavio. And the photographer bummed me a smoke. I was grateful for that.
I haven't said everything that made that night horrible. In fact, I haven't even said the worst things that happened to me because I don't even want to think about them. I want to have good memories of their wedding, but that may be hard to do. I don't want it to seem that I have no respect for her or my brother. I do have respect for them. I don't want to seem selfish, but just because I have long hair and don't like to dance doesn't mean that I deserve to be treated like shit by my new sibling.
I'm done. Peace. |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2003 : 7:32:48 PM
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| You're fine. How long have you known her? And the whole time has she been that rude or was it just because it was *her* day? |
Steve Hackett: "I'm my own opening act, you see."
Tim (before "Faceoff"): "Peace, love....and SEX!"
cbenc41@hotmail.com |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2003 : 8:26:44 PM
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| Yeah, she's pretty much always been like that, although not quite as bad as she was Saturday. That sucked. Thank god for Ketel One. |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2003 : 9:09:46 PM
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| What does your brother think about this? I know if my girlfriend/fiance/wife was acting like that to my little bro, I would drop her like a bad habit. Is he whipped beyond recognition? That would be sad. |
Robots are the enemy? Hmm... |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2003 : 10:45:49 PM
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well women consider that "their" day. apparently it calls for a dress that's so long, you need to people to pick up the slack. what the hell is that? you don't see the groom at the wedding walking around with 20 extra feet of pants, do you?
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death to false metal. |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 09/16/2003 : 02:13:13 AM
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yea, i agree that you did nothing wrong in this situation. and dont know what i would have done if she did that to me, i might have just bitched at her or left.
and yea i dont get it, why are weddings such a big deal... i understand what it represents and all... but does it need to cost sooooo much money.
anyway.... im a guy. |
Remember, turn off your tv. Read. |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 09/16/2003 : 8:35:42 PM
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| i still doubt that. |
death to false metal. |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 09/17/2003 : 10:29:50 AM
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Ah... quick!! Estrogen to the rescue...
First of all Jay, I am so sorry about all of this. I am not going to call your brother's wife nasty names, but we're all thinking them. My brother was a groomsman in one of the biggest non-celebrity weddings I know of (24 people in the bridal party, and the whole damn thing cost $40K... what the hell?). The bride and her parents asked all the guys to cut their hair and shave their beards... now, my bro has hair that's like as long as mine, and a beard (yeah, I don't have one)... and he pretty much was like fuck off... they asked the people they love to be in the party, it's an aspect of them...
Now, as for her sharing the contents of your box... first off, how does she know about it? Secondly... that only shows how low she is... The only thing that "ruined her day" was her attitude and need to control everything. Since when did long hair cause harm to a situation... never in this situation, unless there's some cultural thing where like her family won't come or something. If she just relaxed, she'd see that everything was fine, just fine...
I hope that you can filter out those memories and try and figure out other ways of making it a pleasant memory. Weddings can be great, like big parties, only everybody is dressed up, and your grandparents are there...
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Dickey500
Chatterbox
USA
144 Posts |
Posted - 09/17/2003 : 11:11:08 AM
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I've got two words for you...
BITCH
SLAP
that is all |
"All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out." - Mark Twain |
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 09/17/2003 : 1:16:13 PM
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Now I have two words for you...
Wait, it's more than two...
Where the hell was your brother? Does he just not care about you? To me, that's the problem, right there. |
Tim Reynolds Downloads
I am not the albatross of love, I am the human ellipsis. I am dot dot dot. - Leo Kottke
I hate beating people over the head with anything. We can all make up our own minds. What we don’t have is enough music. More music please. - Leo Kottke |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 09/17/2003 : 3:11:50 PM
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| That's a tough position to be in... the first time my sister brought home her now husband, he and I got into a heated debate that turned into a flat out fight... I bet there's a similar situation as it is with Jay... I was 15, and he was like 25... I mean, you just don't go there with that age gap, not like that... but we did. My sister and my mom said nothing until like a week later. I think they were in shock... Jay's brother probably didn't want to piss off his wife on their wedding day, or complicate things with Jay and make it worse I could imagine... poor guy probably had it rough... |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 09/17/2003 : 11:26:56 PM
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Sorry Jay but it sounds to me like you now have a bitch-in-law.
I don't know what to say. What is the matter with some people? It would never have occured to me to ask anyone in our bridal party to change the way they look. We asked them to be in our wedding party because we loved them and who they were on the inside.
As it happened all the tuxes were too long so all the guys looked like they had elephant legs and the guys buttoniers never came so we took flowers from our bouquets and pinned them on the guys!
Elephant legs and all I am still so glad we have our wedding pictures. One of the guys in our wedding was just killed in a head-on collision in West Virginia last week. I am glad he is in our wedding pictures.
I am just so sorry you had such a rotten experience. I can't believe she went through your junk box. Why was she even in your room and why didn't she respect your privacy? I really don't get that. Honestly I do wonder what your brother sees in her. Makes you wonder how long this marriage will last, eh? |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2003 : 4:00:04 PM
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Well, I think she was rooting about in my room to look for pictures of my brother when he was little...still, why the hell in my room, in my closet, in a box with a bunch of shit piled on top of it?
They get along really well...I think the problem is is that she has my brother wrapped around her little finger about 45,000 times, and that really sucks. Her parents are filthy rich, and that shows in her...I don't think she would've had any interst at all in my brother if he wasn't a car salesman and raking in a hundred grand a year...But she never really showed me any love at all, unlike my other brother's wife (the one that had the baby a while ago). She always stayed and talked to me, and listened to me and understood. And I think that's because she grew up without much money...So bottom line here is, in general, people that grow up rich usually turn out to be shallow assholes. This is a prime example...Karlene, my other sister (I'll call her a sister only, she's way to close for the "in-law" thing)is a nice a person as they come, and she knows how to treat people well. She's gone through a hell of a lot of shit lately, all kinds of problems, plus having a baby. My brother's new wife is studying to be a veteranarian, and to my knowledge has never even needed to get a job. Her "shit" was not being able to stay in Austrailia for three weeks on her honeymoon...So she go two weeks...
Oh well, I'm happy for them, and I think that they're gonna be happy together for a long time. I just hope that she thinks a little about her family memebers and shows them as much love as we show her...I mean, damn...we had to go without groceries for a month just to offord her damn wedding rehersal dinner! And that's just the beginning of how far we went out of our way to have her wedding her way. We might not even have enough money to get through Christmas now...I mean, how selfish can you get? My parent's names weren't even printed on the wedding invitations, so a lot of people from our side didn't even know that it was my parent's son getting maried...the invites were worded so that most just figured it was some kind of coincidence that this strange woman they didn't even know was getting married to a Wiegand. So out of 250, there were 23 from my side at the reception. And they were the ones that we called personally and asked to come...the ones with no kids (because they weren't allowed to bring them) and that could shell out 800 bucks to fly in, or drive from three hours away. How shitty is that? So now I'm worried that I'm getting in trouble thanks to her, allthough my parents seem to think the same way I do about her, which is definately a plus.
Done. |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2003 : 5:37:36 PM
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Jay, I am so sorry to read what you went through and what you will be going through. My brother married a rich girl first time around. They made a cute couple but that was all. She was actually nice to me, but I was only about 8 or 9 when they got married so what would I know. Anyway my brother was a teacher when teachers around here didn't make much money. One day he came home early and there was a man in the closet! Just like you see on TV. So needless to say that ended that.
Somehow he met my current sister in law and all I can say is she is such a sweetie! I love her! We all do. She didn't come from money, and was an only child so she loves being part of a big family.
I do hope your brother is happy, that at least would make all he sacrifices you and your family have made somewhat worth it. As for Christmas, there won't be much of one in my house this year either, due to the expense of my cancer and not being able to work, but some how I think this will be our best Christmas ever! It isn't the gifts that make Christmas special any way, it's the memories you make.
You hit the nail on the head. Money doesn't make people nice and it doesn't guarentee happiness! |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2003 : 8:41:00 PM
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| Thanks Pam, you always say somthing to make even the saddest of topics more hopeful! I hope that you DO have the greatest Christmas ever, and I'm sure you will. Shit, if you came to my house on Christmas maybe my Hungarian uncle Atilla will stop bitching about the cheap wine Aunt Bev bought and we'd have a happy gathering for once instead of sounding like the Grinch family. Hahaha! Our Christmas's aren't that bad, they're actually really fun because you can almost set your watch by how we do things...Aunt Marylin arrives at 12:31, and nutzoid Grandma arrives last, after dinner, around four-ish, with two baskets of dinner rolls and a handful of 20's to give to the kids. Then she drops all on the floor, says she faints when she has to move too much and leaves out the garage door. Then it's time to open presents and think "why, in the HELL, did she get me THIS?" but smile anyway and say thanks. I appreciate every gift, no matter how small or un-wanted. Someone was thinking about me, and that's a great feeling. But shit, a neon green jumpsuit? Oh well. |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2003 : 02:31:32 AM
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quote:
Anyway my brother was a teacher when teachers around here didn't make much money.
And they do now?  |
Robots are the enemy? Hmm... |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2003 : 09:47:58 AM
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aw Jay, and you always make me smile!
Fleabass, yeah, many of the teachers are making $80,000 plus, I would say that is pretty good, some bring in over $100,000. Not to mention the insurance coverage which pays for just about everything. There is a co-pay of $10 to see a doctor but they don't pay anything for the insurance! Nothing comes out of their paycheck for health insurance. I know because working for the schools I have the same health benefits which has been a huge blessing for me now. I don't get that kind of salary though
I am talking about where I live, outside of Philly.(Bucks County) Philly schools are another story, like most city schools. |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2003 : 11:34:31 AM
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I guess I'm coming into this late, but I think your brother's wife was way out of line too. Even if a wedding is the "bride's day" it doesn't give them the right to be manipulative and petty.
When I was a debutante, Fluffy came to the affair in a tux, but I don't think anyone said anything about what his hair should look like. I'll have to ask him about that at the New Brunswick show...
Families should be all about unconditional love. Who cares what somebody LOOKS like -- how they dress and how they wear their hair -- as long as they are genuine, honest, and caring. Maybe that's why rich people can get easily confused... most people in their life are probably none of those things.
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2003 : 11:47:47 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by PJK
aw Jay, and you always make me smile!
Fleabass, yeah, many of the teachers are making $80,000 plus, I would say that is pretty good, some bring in over $100,000. Not to mention the insurance coverage which pays for just about everything. There is a co-pay of $10 to see a doctor but they don't pay anything for the insurance! Nothing comes out of their paycheck for health insurance. I know because working for the schools I have the same health benefits which has been a huge blessing for me now. I don't get that kind of salary though
I am talking about where I live, outside of Philly.(Bucks County) Philly schools are another story, like most city schools.
Oh, so a wealthy district. That makes sense. Here in Minneapolis, the average starting salary for a teacher is just above the poverty line.  |
Robots are the enemy? Hmm... |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2003 : 12:08:21 PM
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| My mom's been a elementary teacher for about 25 years and finally makes around $70,000. I think starting it around 40k or 50k. |
Steve Hackett: "I'm my own opening act, you see."
Tim (before "Faceoff"): "Peace, love....and SEX!"
cbenc41@hotmail.com |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2003 : 12:44:49 PM
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It sucks you had to not eat for a month for the rehearsal dinner and that xmas might not be so merry.
Isn't it customary for the bride's parents to cover the wedding expenses?
Anyway, good luck...it sounds like you'll need it. |
Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque an Alien Abductee! |
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Michael E. Rosol
Is Anybody Here?
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2003 : 10:19:05 AM
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ummm. Just be glad YOU aren't married to her, and carry on. Evidently he see's something in her that you don't, but people are also sometimes blinded by their hormones. Anyone that needs to cause someone's else pain for their entertainment needs to be both pitied and avoided.
You can't always get what you want....but if you try sometimes..you get what you need. |
Never too old to learn new things....:-) |
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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2003 : 2:51:50 PM
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| Couldn't of said it better! That's exactly what I felt like she was doing, making me feel horrible just so she could have fun. What the hell? Some people are just heartless, I think. Only think of themselves. Now, what I went through was simply mental...My parent's got a hell of a lot more...empty pockets and headaches every day, and on top of it, it's a woman that they are going to have to embrace as their daughter. I dread the next time I see her. I don't hate her, I don't hate anybody, but there are people I'd like to avoid, and she seems like one of them. |
"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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My brother got married and it sucked.
