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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
 Posted - 01/30/2003 : 11:29:52 PM
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Remember, turn off your tv. Read. |
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KevinLesko
Alien Abductee
3712 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 01:56:48 AM
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| DOPE! Is that real?? If so I may have to keep an eye out for it. If it is real, how did it taste? |
god
Kevin |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 01:58:05 AM
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SPACE DRINK??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ROTFLMAO!! Does that come in a glass bottle? I can't imagine astronauts trying to drink something in space from a glass bottle. They would be floating around the cabin hitting people and breaking. HEHE
I must have a bottle!! Is it beer or something else, one of those energy drinks maybe. It does have ale in the title. More info is requested, and what does it say right under space drink, I can't quite make it out.
That reminds me, there used to be a drink called ORBIT that came with little floaty spheres in the fluid. They were drinkable and they came in different colors and flavors. Maybe I can find a pic of them on the internet somewhere. |
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy         
"THE MUSIC BUSINESS IS A CRUEL AND SHALLOW MONEY TRENCH-- A LONG PLASTIC HALLWAY WHERE THIEVES AND PIMPS RUN FREE AND GOOD MEN DIE LIKE DOGS. THERE'S ALSO A NEGATIVE SIDE..." -Hunter S. Thompson |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 02:19:50 AM
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Seems I was mistaken, it was called Orbitz:
Written by Joe Lavin:
Orbitz: The Drink With Balls
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Today, I feel compelled to write about Orbitz, the relatively new drink from Canada. For those of you who have never seen it, Orbitz is a disgusting fruity drink with little gelatin balls floating in it. Yes, you read that right. A major corporation, Clearly Canadian in this case, has actually released a drink that features little gelatin balls floating in it. In short, it looks very much like a lava lamp, plus you can drink it.
Orbitz comes in such actual flavors as Orange-Vanilla, Raspberry-Citrus, Blueberry-Melon-Strawberry, and Pineapple-Banana-Cherry-Coconut. I don't know about the others, but I did try Orange-Vanilla Orbitz. I even paid money for it. You're no doubt thinking, "Joe, how could you have possibly paid money for something that sounds so horrible?" Well, there's a simple and plausible explanation. I bought it merely as public service to help you, my readers, navigate through the often confusing world of beverages.
Also, I was somewhat drunk.
The odd looking bottle of Orbitz sat in my refrigerator for days, terrifying my roommates. When I finally had the balls (er, sorry) to try it, it tasted like the sort of thing thirteen year old boys dare each other to drink in a school cafeteria. And those balls only made it worse. I mean, here's this disgusting drink. One can almost handle that, but oh those balls. I caught one with my teeth and bit into it. It was like biting into radioactive mucous Tang. I don't want to think about it anymore.
And I'm not the only one who hates it. I went to the Beverage Network in an attempt to learn more about Orbitz and because, frankly, I have too much free time on my hands. Here's their review of Raspberry Citrus Orbitz:
Atrocious. That sums it up. This flavor tastes absolutely horrible. In the words of James Craven, author of SuperFox, "It tastes like water that came out of a vase used for flowers. . . . the balls make it even worse." The only difference is that Orbitz has sugar. This beverage makes us sick.
But despite all the negative reviews, Clearly Canadian is surging forward and opening a new Orbitz factory in California. It makes me feel rather inadequate to realize that while I'm still a temp the person who had the presence of mind to invent a drink featuring round floaty chunks of something or another is no doubt still employed. Hell, he or she probably got a promotion, and that's what's really confusing. Think about it. At some point during a board meeting at Clearly Canadian, the following exchange occurred:
Person who thought to put Round Floaty Chunks in a drink: " Sir, would you like to hear our idea about a new drink with round floaty chunks in it, eh?"
Chairman of the Board: "Round Floaty Chunks! Round Floaty Chunks! That's brilliant! What this company needs are more ingenious people like you. We'll be rich. Rich, I say."
Wouldn't you know it? Orbitz has a web site. As you enter their site, you are greeted with the words, "Set gravity aside and prepare to embark on a tour into the bowels of the Orbiterium." Now, I'm no marketing expert, but somehow it seems a bad idea to use the word "bowels" at a web site dedicated to a drink this hideous.
As I indeed delved further into their bowels, I discovered a page of e-mail from people who had tried Orbitz. Not only did they have pages for their "good" and "arcane" mail, but they also had a page dedicated to "bad" mail. You have to wonder about these people. First, they create Orbitz, and then they use their web site to display the opinions of people who hate the drink.
I started with the good mail. After all, I had to know who actually likes the drink. It seemed a bad omen for them when on this page of "good" mail, I came across the comment, "your drink is good but it feels like you are swallowing barf." And later on there was another ringing endorsement: "The orbitz in the drink were cool at first! But it gave me and my dad a slight stomach discomfort! But the drink was really good!" High praise indeed.
To be fair, there are apparently some big Orbitz fans out there. One person wrote:
I think that your drink is the best, it gives me a tingling feeling all over the mouth and the throat. Your drink is the only thing that ever gave me this feeling before and I love ORBITZ.
A 12 year old named Buzz wrote:
I drink Orbitz all the time. It makes me happy and sugar high. . . . Some of my friends don't like Orbitz because of the way it looks. I love the way it looks because it looks like a lava lamp. I also have a lava lamp.
And perhaps the most cogent comment of all was: "Very trippy. Whatever you guys are on, I want some."
Next, I checked out the hate mail, which included comments such as:
The little squishy balls represent disgust in its purest form. Sucking them through my teeth, waves of nausea racked my body for several hours following.
Your product sucks and thousands of people will probably do as we did and spit it in the sink!
Why does your drink make people sick if they drink it while riding a bike or doing something like that?
I still don't get it. Perhaps I'm just not hip enough. I almost think they want people to know the drink is bad. Maybe they are specifically targeting the "Here, this tastes horrible. Try it." market. We all have an inherent curiosity to taste disgusting things, because we think "they couldn't possibly be that bad." Orbitz, however is. Unless you're the type of person who has ever stared into a lava lamp and thought, "Well, gosh, I'd sure like to take a swig of that," my advice is to avoid Orbitz completely. You'll thank me later.
©1997 Joe Lavin
All the links on his site, where this was posted, are dead, I think it no longer exists. It was fun(?) while it lasted HEHE. |
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy
"THE MUSIC BUSINESS IS A CRUEL AND SHALLOW MONEY TRENCH-- A LONG PLASTIC HALLWAY WHERE THIEVES AND PIMPS RUN FREE AND GOOD MEN DIE LIKE DOGS. THERE'S ALSO A NEGATIVE SIDE..." -Hunter S. Thompson |
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JTR
Chatterbox
417 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 02:20:26 AM
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| Whatever happened to wine in a box? |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 02:26:58 AM
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| Seriously, take the TIMe to read the above review by JOE, it had me ROTFLMAO and LOL. Classic lines like, "I caught one with my teeth and bit into it. It was like biting into radioactive mucous Tang.", and it just gets better and funnier from there. Give it a read, you won't regret it. |
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy
"THE MUSIC BUSINESS IS A CRUEL AND SHALLOW MONEY TRENCH-- A LONG PLASTIC HALLWAY WHERE THIEVES AND PIMPS RUN FREE AND GOOD MEN DIE LIKE DOGS. THERE'S ALSO A NEGATIVE SIDE..." -Hunter S. Thompson |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 07:26:26 AM
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Pretty kewl drink ya have there Saint Jude! I want one too! Just for the bottle, hehe....inside looks like H2O.....hummmm what a great marketing idea. What is inside?
Hey Fluffy, I will read that later, must get ready for work, but I remember Orbitz! Came in red, orage, yellow, and green. I took some to school for a treat for the kids. They loved it...me...didn't try it. Something about stuff floating in my drink turns me off...even if it is supposed to be there. |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 11:45:18 AM
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| it tastes like ginger ale, kind of. but has an odd bitter taste to it. i just had to get one to see what i tas like, and to show u guys's. |
Remember, turn off your tv. Read. |
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KevinLesko
Alien Abductee
3712 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 1:27:32 PM
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| I've got a Steelhead Brewery and a restaraunt called The Yardhouse nearby, both of which have hundreds of beers on hand, so I'm gonna have to keep an eye out for that drink! |
god
Kevin |
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Dickey500
Chatterbox
USA
144 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 5:01:44 PM
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| We still didn't really get any insight into whether or not the alien ale had any "ale" aspects to it...I guess there's not too many "A" words that specify something as a drink though. |
"All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out." - Mark Twain |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 5:08:16 PM
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Apparently there is truly an Alien Ale. I found the following in a report on a beer festival in Toronto:
"Kawartha Lakes had their ultra-rare Alien Ale on tap as well. This barley wine only appears in Toronto at the festival, but to my taste was very immature, and needs several more months before it should be served."
I'll send more info if I find it. |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 5:11:40 PM
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KAWARTHA LAKES BREWING CO. LTD.
687 Rye Street
Peterborough, Ontario
Tel. ((705) 741-1819
A fine and successful Ontario microbrewery, Kawartha Lakes has been producing tasty beers for almost four years. Beginning in 1996 with their now-famous Raspberry Wheat Ale and Pale Ale as draught-only selections in Ontario pubs, the brewery developed a strong following with beer connoisseurs.
The brewery added Nut Brown Ale and Cream Ale to their slate, and offered their ales in oversize 473mL bottles for sale at only at the brewery. This led to many beer pilgrimages by this writer to Peterborough to satisfy my thirst.
Luckily, Kawartha Lakes now distributes their Raspberry Wheat and Cream Ale in 12-packs in a growing number of Beer Stores. Due to the immense popularity of KLB beers, their Nut Brown Ale will also be available in Beer Stores beginning in September. Drinkers who desire their fine Pale Ale must still trek up to Central Ontario, but hopefully this brew will follow sometime in the future and round out their slate.
Kawartha Lakes was recently written up in the National Post, with the headline on March 8 reading: "The last thing thriving Kawartha Lakes Brewing needs is more customers". It is great to see an Ontario microbrewery succeeding, which has been something of a rarity in this province's microbrewery industry over the last few years.
Where can I find Kawartha Lakes on draught in Toronto?
Pub Name Address Phone (416)
Artful Dodger 10 Isabella St. 964-9511
C'est What 67 Front St. E 867-9499
Doghouse Riley's 1365 Yonge St. 966-5171
Kalendar Coffee House 546 College St. 923-4138
Le Select Bistro 328 Queen St.W. 596-6405
Old York Bar and Grill 167 Niagara St. 703-9675
The Only Café 972 Danforth Ave. 463-7843
The Pilot 22 Cumberland St. 923-5716
Q Club 1574 Queen St.E. 469-3660
Rebel House 1068 Yonge St. 927-0704
Rhino Bar and Grill 1249 Queen St.W. 535-8089
Smokeless Joe's 125 John St. 591-2221
Squirley's 807 Queen St.W.
Summit House Grill 40 Eglinton Ave. 440-0030
The Wedge 31 Widmer St. 348-9200
Kawartha Lakes' website: http://www.klb.on.ca (or not)
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 7:38:55 PM
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| the drink i had was not beer. it was like ginger ale. but different, it says it has quinine in it on the bottle, i dont know what that is, but i am bettin that is what gave it its odd taste... THAT IS OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!! |
Remember, turn off your tv. Read. |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 8:07:02 PM
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Aha! The non-alcoholic version is available in Dallas at a store called Ifs Ands & Butts. It ain't cheap though!
Sodas are $21.95 per 12-pk*, or $39.95 per case( 24)* unless otherwise noted.
* NOTE: We SHIP 12-packs and cases only. Singles, 6-pks & cases available in-store. TX tax and/or S&H extra if applicable. S&H: $16.00 per 12-pk; $22.00 per case in continental U.S. (small surcharge on sodas bottled in heavy glass).
Choose your favorites from our selection of over 135 flavors! *
http://ifsandsbutts.com/sodas/listalphabet.htm
CALL TO ORDER: Toll Free U.S. 1-888-712-8887
FREE BOW and HANDWRITTEN CARD with any Gift Order -- just ask us! |
teri
Twittering about the DC adventure since Dec '09...
(Micro)Blog * Photo Album
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 9:09:38 PM
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Wow, where did you find that Teri....Expensive yes, but what a hoot to get Alien Ale Punch that glows in black light! Come on, that would be fun!!!
Hey, if you come east for the TIM/Dave concert I will have to order us some so we can party harty, hehehe!!! My daughter would get such a kick out of it too!
I am going to back into that site to see how long it would take to ship it here! |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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Miss Sorrel
Yak Addict
593 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2003 : 9:44:33 PM
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In regards to Joe's (????....Fluffy's???) description of Orbitz:
Wow!! Never have I laughed so hard when reading a review about a drink... And come to think of it, I have never read such an extensive description of a drink, whether it's good or bad. Some of the phrases that were used I will try to remember and add into my vocabulary so that I can use them on a regular basis (for example, when I read "radioactive mucous Tang" I knew that I was in for a great read).... No matter what I end doing this so far unpromising Friday night, I at least know that I THOUROUGHLY enjoyed a few minutes of it.... Can you do more drink reviews???? I would love it!
Thanks for the fun, S |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2003 : 2:09:33 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Fluffy
I almost think they want people to know the drink is bad. Maybe they are specifically targeting the "Here, this tastes horrible. Try it." market. We all have an inherent curiosity to taste disgusting things, because we think "they couldn't possibly be that bad."
It sounds like the perfect drink to complement your Bertie Botts Every-Flavor Beans! |
teri
Twittering about the DC adventure since Dec '09...
(Micro)Blog * Photo Album
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CPPJames
Yak Addict
Fyro Macedonia
800 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2003 : 2:35:50 PM
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| In response to Fluffy's question, it looks like it says "Thirst for the Truth" under Space Drink. Now I gotta find me some. |
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't. |
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victorwootenfan
Alien Abductee
USA
2128 Posts |
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__________
Try A Little Harder
88 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2003 : 12:45:49 PM
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| wasn't there a drink called ~alien piss~ once? |
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CPPJames
Yak Addict
Fyro Macedonia
800 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2003 : 1:56:53 PM
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| Dunno about alien piss, but orbitz wasn't that great. There's a drink called Clearly Canadian that was pretty good, just flavored spritzer water or whatever you wanna call it, but it had no floating balls. It was castrated. |
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't. |
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SurferX
Chatterbox
USA
263 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2003 : 2:01:21 PM
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| I just have to say that Orbitz rules everything! I still have like 10 bottles from when I first discovered it back in 1990 (in a 99 cent store in New Jersey...no joke!). Awesome stuff, man... |
--Zak |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2003 : 2:54:55 PM
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The alcoholic Alien Ale that Tericee discovered seems aptly named in that it's initial would be AA, and it would probably take a hardcore alcoholic to be drinking something like that HEHE.
(line) asked: quote:
wasn't there a drink called ~alien piss~ once?
Could this be what you are remembering.
PS:How ironic that on a topic about DRINKS, there was no Flaming Moe at 20. HEHE |
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy
"THE MUSIC BUSINESS IS A CRUEL AND SHALLOW MONEY TRENCH-- A LONG PLASTIC HALLWAY WHERE THIEVES AND PIMPS RUN FREE AND GOOD MEN DIE LIKE DOGS. THERE'S ALSO A NEGATIVE SIDE..." -Hunter S. Thompson |
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Xar666
Yak Addict
USA
546 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2003 : 3:18:15 PM
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| That Orbitz review was fucking hilarious. Thanks, Fluf. |
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new beverage at my school
