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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
 Posted - 08/29/2002 : 01:47:28 AM
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This is the funniest site I have seen yet on the internet (hope I'm not overblowing it a bit). I was trying to find a picture of a motorcycle with a dildo on it, and I found this instead.
http://www.legal-forms-kit.com/legal-jokes/dumb-laws.html
A few examples:
In Conneticut, in order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
In California, it is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 01:57:23 AM
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Mississippi
It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
O shit...
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I am not the albatross of love, I am the human ellipsis. I am dot dot dot. |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 02:28:42 AM
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This, by far, is my favorite.
In Utah, it is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can't detonate them.
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 04:17:55 AM
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The state with the most mormons.... Go figure.
"Don't drink the pickle juice from the pickle jar, until all the pickles are gone."
-Son of a Boss
Arthenc@hotmail.com
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SourGirl
Try A Little Harder
USA
53 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 1:03:59 PM
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this is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen.
In Indiana it says "No man may catch a fishwith his bare hands, and within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, a theater, or ride a public street car."
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dirtysloth
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1302 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 1:32:06 PM
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In Franklin County in VA, right next door to Roanoke County(where I used to live), it is illegal to dance on Sundays. What's even dumber is that it is actually enforced. I don't think the law actually got involved, but my sister was at a club and everyone started dancing so they closed up for the night because they couldn't keep people from dancing and they didn't want to get in trouble.
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revrendmaynard14
Chatterbox
USA
359 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 5:03:15 PM
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Why were you looking for a picture of a motorcycle w/a dildo?
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revrendmaynard14
Chatterbox
USA
359 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 5:10:06 PM
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All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the
apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease.
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
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pants_happy
Chatterbox
412 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 5:37:27 PM
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North Dakota
Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon
no wonder people still ask if we have to go out in the streets and light the lamp posts manually, and if we have "electricity".
i found another law:
not driving like an asshole is completely optional. |
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pants_happy
Chatterbox
412 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 6:02:50 PM
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these take the cake:
Texas
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
that sounds like something that dubya would say.
West Virginia
It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. |
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SourGirl
Try A Little Harder
USA
53 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 6:19:16 PM
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It's legal to have sex with an animal that doesn'e exceed 40 pounds, no that definatly takes the cake.Thats just plain sick.
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 6:32:03 PM
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quote:
Texas
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
Man, you made that up...
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I am not the albatross of love, I am the human ellipsis. I am dot dot dot. |
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 6:32:30 PM
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Cause if you didn't...that's the funniest thing today. And yes, it does take the cake.
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I am not the albatross of love, I am the human ellipsis. I am dot dot dot. |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 6:56:37 PM
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Minnesota:
Oral sex is prohibited.
Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
I say bah to both of these.
http://www.dumblaws.com/ for more
- Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces.
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 6:59:06 PM
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more for MN:
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
It is illegal to sleep naked.
- Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces.
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SourGirl
Try A Little Harder
USA
53 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 7:15:29 PM
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Where do they get these laws from? They are so pathetic, I wonder if they actually enforce these laws, because if they do they are gonna have a lot of jail baits. lol
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 7:57:03 PM
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It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon
I won't be riding any horses thru North Dakota anytime soon. Wish I had a dollar for every covered wagon I have seen while driving thru North Dakota recently. I'd be broke!! HEHE
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy          |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2002 : 8:00:33 PM
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pcbdmb never told us why he was looking for a dildo on a motorcycle. HMMMM, and pickles that bounce? Reminds me of a song:
I don't want a pickle
Just wanna ride on my motorcikle
And I don't want to die
Just wanna ride on my motorci.......ckle
Thanx Arlo, I always loved that song. What in the world do you think prompted him to write "The Motorcycle Song"?
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2002 : 12:08:44 AM
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Sigh.
I bet these laws were put in place a long time ago, and now no one pays attention to them, and they don't want to go back and correct them.
"Don't drink the pickle juice from the pickle jar, until all the pickles are gone."
-Son of a Boss
Arthenc@hotmail.com
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2002 : 12:27:14 AM
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Really, you think that's what happened? Cause I thought they were new laws, just enacted, so that all the people whose pickles didn't bounce would have to go to jail.
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I am not the albatross of love, I am the human ellipsis. I am dot dot dot. |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2002 : 10:21:53 PM
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quote:
pcbdmb never told us why he was looking for a dildo on a motorcycle.
http://www.timreynolds.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2322
That.......and personal enjoyment (of course). 
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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pants_happy
Chatterbox
412 Posts |
Posted - 08/31/2002 : 10:51:37 AM
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quote:
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon
I won't be riding any horses thru North Dakota anytime soon. Wish I had a dollar for every covered wagon I have seen while driving thru North Dakota recently. I'd be broke!! HEHE
South Dakota
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
Crap! My friends just left for a family vacation to South Dakota! 
I sure hope they find out about that cheese factory law before it's too late!
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 08/31/2002 : 2:23:15 PM
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quote:
...pickles that bounce? Reminds me of a song:
I don't want a pickle
Just wanna ride on my motorcikle
And I don't want to die
Just wanna ride on my motorci.......ckle
All this time, I thought he said nickel and dime.
teri 
Did I mention that I finished a marathon? |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/31/2002 : 9:25:49 PM
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You're kidding me, right? We used to sing that song as kids.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/31/2002 : 9:32:32 PM
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The Motorcycle Song
words and music by Arlo Guthrie
CHORUS:
I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcy...cle
It was late last night the other day
I thought I'd go up and see Ray
So l went up and I saw Ray
There was only one thing Ray could say, was:
CHORUS
This song is about the time that I was ridin' my motorcycle.
Going down a mountain road, at 150 miles an hour, playin'
my guitar. On one side of the mountain road there was a
mountain, and on the other side there was nothin' - there was
a cliff in the air.
Now, when you're going down a mountain road at I50 miles
an hour you gotta be very careful, especially if you're playin'
a guitar. Especially if that guitar is an acoustic guitar.
Because if it's an acoustic guitar, the wind pressure is greater
on the box side than on the neck side, because there's
more guitar on the box side. I wasn't payin' attention ..
Luckily I didn't go into the mountain - I went over the cliff.
I was goin' at 150 miles an hour sideways and 500 feet down
at the same time.
I knew it was the end. I looked down, I said ''Wow! Some
trip". I thought it...well I knew it was...I knew it was my last
trip, and in my last remaining seconds in world,I decided
to write one last farewell song to the world.
Put a new ink cartridge in my pen. Took out a piece of paper.
I sat back and I thought awhile. Then I started writin':
I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcy ...cle."
I knew that, it wasn't the best song l ever wrote, but I didn't
have time to change it. I was comin' down mighty fast.
But as you all know, and as fate would have it, I didn't die. I
landed on the top of a police car. And he died. I drove away
on the road that he was on. I came into town at a screamin'
175 miles an hour, playin' the motorcycle song.
I came into town, I jumped off my bike, the bike went around
the corner by itself, went up on the stand by itself, turned
itself off.
I walked over to my friend. He was standin' there eatin'
pickles. I said "Hi, what's happenin'?" He looked at me in the
eye and said "Nothin'".
You gotta sing it with that kind of enthusiasm. Like you just
squashed a cop...
CHORUS
©1968,1969 Appleseed Music Inc. (ASCAP)
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/31/2002 : 10:35:51 PM
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Arlo when asked about his explanation of "The Motorcycle Song":
"I've told everything there was to tell about this song, how I wrote it, where I wrote it, when and what for... but the one thing that I always neglected to explain... was the significance of the pickle."
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2002 : 10:42:42 AM
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I have never heard that song.
____________________________________________________________
I am not the albatross of love, I am the human ellipsis. I am dot dot dot. |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2002 : 6:50:49 PM
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But I see you got a post mentioning that you never heard of it. Go listen to it. It's on the album Alice's Restaurant which should be in everyones collection. It's a MUST!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2002 : 02:24:13 AM
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Who is this Arlo Guthrie fellow, anyway?
____________________________________________________________
I am not the albatross of love, I am the human ellipsis. I am dot dot dot. |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2002 : 02:37:34 AM
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Singer-songwriter Arlo Guthrie was born in Brooklyn, N.Y. in 1947 to folk legendWoody Guthrie, who was instrumental in popularizing the genre. Naturally, Arlo was raised around folksingers, and made his first public performance at age 13. After attending a private highschool in Massachusetts and dropping out of a small liberal arts college in Montana, Guthrie made his debut as an adult performer at the 1967 Newport Folk Festival, wherehis song "Alice's Restaurant" instantly gave him credibility. The rambling narrative becamea popular protest song, which was made into a 1969 motion picture (the 1967 album wentgold.) Guthrie cemented his standing as a major folk artist with a performance at Woodstock,where his song "Coming to Los Angeles" became another standard.
Throughout the '70s Guthrie recorded albums for Warner/Reprise, but did not produce anyhit albums or singles other than his 1972 single "The City of New Orleans," written bya friend. After ending his contract with Warner Bros. in 1981, Guthrie formed his ownlabel, Rising Sun Records, and began to reissue some of his backcatalog, as well as newmaterial. Meanwhile Guthrie continued to be an outspoken environmental activist, oftenperforming at charity events and actively campaigning for liberal causes. In 1992 Guthrie purchased the Old Trinity Church in Housatonic, Mass., a key site in the"Alice's Restaurant" story, and turned it into a community outreach center. In 1995 Guthrieco-wrote a children's book with friend Alice Brock (the "Alice"), returning tomusic in 1996 with Mystic Journey. Recently Arlo Guthrie has been dividing his time between touring (with the Summer 1997 Furthur Festival) and taking minor actingroles.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2002 : 02:40:01 AM
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I was waiting at the airport in Denver CO after the Chris Whitley tour and out of a cab came Arlo. I was pretty excited. I think he thought I was nuts or maybe he was just shocked that someone who was wearing a Fear Factory shirt would know who he was. We talked for a fews minutes and he was on his way. It was pretty neat. I was just standing there and there he was.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Topic |
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Stupid laws
