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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
 Posted - 07/13/2002 : 8:20:15 PM
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OK.....I was listening to the radio before I got to work, and I heard this Southern Comfort commercial in which the announcer said something to the effect of "Having a Southern Comfort before going out would be like having a night without any bad pick-up lines. Here are a few examples."
Now I just wanted to put down my two favorite that I heard.
"Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight.....or should I walk by again?"
"OK! I'm here! So what were your other two wishes?!"
Feel free to share some of your favs!
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2002 : 10:49:14 PM
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nice legs. what time do they open?
hi. i'm mr. right. someone said you were looking for me.
if you were a door, i'd slam you.
get in the car, little girl. |
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Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2002 : 01:56:26 AM
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Let's go back to my place and play pearl harbor... I'll just lay there and you blow the shit out of me.
Let's go back to my place and have pizza and fuck. ("No") What... you don't like pizza?
My penis is 2 inches....... from the floor.
Does your ass hurt? ("No") It will.
Excuse me, but you have something in your hair. (Runs fingers through hair) Oh I'm sorry... that's just beauty.
My face leaves in 15 minutes, be on it.
Know what the difference is between a beer and a blowjob? ("No what?") Wanna go back to my place and have a beer?
Are your pants made of mirrors? ("No, why?") Because I can see myself in them.
And the ever classic...
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2002 : 03:10:36 AM
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And my favorite candy bar one.......
"I have a Butterfinger that will make you Snicker and scream Oh Henry!"
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2002 : 6:05:07 PM
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A friend of mine used this one like 5 times at a party last night. It's more of an ice-breaker type thing than a pick up line...it's also a joke..but he just walks up to a girl does the whole introduction thing and asks "So what makes you tick?" It either gets a laugh or a confused look..
"Get up an move... or I'll put a curse on you... that all your children will be born naked." – Hendrix |
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{=HTG=}
Alien Abductee
USA
2342 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2002 : 11:11:05 PM
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"Hey baby, I might now be Fred Flinstone, but I can make your bed rock"
"Hey girl, do you work for UPS? Cuase I swore you were checking out my package"
"Boredom`s not a burden Anyone should bear" TOOL |
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{=HTG=}
Alien Abductee
USA
2342 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2002 : 11:11:15 PM
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"Hey baby, I might not be Fred Flinstone, but I can make your bed rock"
"Hey girl, do you work for UPS? Cuase I swore you were checking out my package"
"Boredom`s not a burden Anyone should bear" TOOL |
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groovologist
Is Anybody Here?
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2002 : 1:46:15 PM
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quote:
A friend of mine used this one like 5 times at a party last night. It's more of an ice-breaker type thing than a pick up line...it's also a joke..but he just walks up to a girl does the whole introduction thing and asks "So what makes you tick?" It either gets a laugh or a confused look..
i dont get it.
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2002 : 5:15:02 PM
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I guess you just have to be there...
"Get up an move... or I'll put a curse on you... that all your children will be born naked." – Hendrix |
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therippa
Fluffy-Esque
Kazakhstan
1099 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2002 : 5:49:11 PM
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"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" is always a classic.
My buddy coined this one...
"How do you like your eggs in the morning...scrambled or fertilized?"
And don't forget...
"Those clothes look very becoming on you. Of course, if I was on you I'd be coming too"
---------------
Aspiring to Be Fluffy-Esque
"I heard Tim stopped playing with Dave when he got pregnant" |
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Saint Jude
Alien Abductee
USA
2144 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2002 : 7:32:53 PM
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hey baby.... ive got some cereal in my pocket.... heh... do ... do those hurt.... swinging and.... where are u going.
- Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces.
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groovologist
Is Anybody Here?
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2002 : 9:00:28 PM
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quote:
hey baby.... ive got some cereal in my pocket.... heh... do ... do those hurt.... swinging and.... where are u going.
i dont get it
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2002 : 8:32:46 PM
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"Someone call the police because this woman just stole my heart!"
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2002 : 8:39:56 PM
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"hello, my name is george. i am unemployed and i live with my parents"
get in the car, little girl. |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2002 : 8:45:55 PM
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No....see, that worked, so it can't be all bad.
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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groovologist
Is Anybody Here?
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2002 : 1:08:41 PM
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this is what I use when I'm out galavanting around town.
"Hey, YOU! lets have sex."
and the ever popular
"me wanty sex"
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2002 : 1:55:16 PM
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there's always my friend's pickup line:
"ride me ride me ride me."
get in the car, little girl. |
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{=HTG=}
Alien Abductee
USA
2342 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2002 : 5:30:25 PM
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"Hey girl, what do you get when you put a piece of onion and a nice piece off ass? I dunno, but sometimes you see an ass that just makes you wanna cry"
"Oh come on boy think-what would Jesus do? He'd shake his head like an angry mother Smoke the boy and said I did what I could do." DMB-Raven |
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{=HTG=}
Alien Abductee
USA
2342 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2002 : 5:32:28 PM
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quote:
"Hey girl, what do you get when you put a piece of onion and a nice piece of ass together? I dunno, but sometimes you see an ass that just makes you wanna cry"
"Oh come on boy think-what would Jesus do? He'd shake his head like an angry mother Smoke the boy and said I did what I could do." DMB-Raven
"Oh come on boy think-what would Jesus do? He'd shake his head like an angry mother Smoke the boy and said I did what I could do." DMB-Raven |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2002 : 04:27:13 AM
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ummmmmmm.......I don't get it.......why did you quote yourself? Forgot to say something?
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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KevinLesko
Alien Abductee
3712 Posts |
Posted - 07/25/2002 : 01:09:40 AM
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seems like the only one i can add that hasnt been said already (unless I missed it) is: "fuck me if I'm wrong, but isnt your name Gwenevere?"
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 07/25/2002 : 01:39:12 AM
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then she says, yes. and you get nothin, and walk away and sit in a corner. BECAUSE YOU'RE ASHAMED
get in the car, little girl. |
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Fleabass76
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1026 Posts |
Posted - 07/25/2002 : 05:27:57 AM
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OH!! I get it....cuz you're ASHAMED!
"Get up an move... or I'll put a curse on you... that all your children will be born naked." – Hendrix |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2002 : 11:38:42 PM
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NEVER FAILS:
Bond. James Bond.
(if your James Bond)
THE OLD STANDARDS:
Do you come here often?
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
What's your sign?
Your place or mine?
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
HOW COULD YOU GUYS FORGET THIS ONE:
(Holding your nuts) Do you want "2 CDs" for a dollar?
BAD ANGEL LINES:
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
How was heaven when you left it?
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
Does God know you've escaped from Heaven? Here, come with me to my place. You can stay there until he calls looking for you.
JUST PLAIN CHEEZY:
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
Ouch! My tooth hurts! "Why?" Because you are soooo sweet!
Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
Can I take your picture? Why? Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Chirstmas.
Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)
What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
Giant polar bear What? It broke the ice.
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
Are you Natasha, my contact?
You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
MORE OUR SPEED:
Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.
Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis.
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
One of us is thinking about sex...Okay, it's me.
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits.
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
How can I love you if you won't lay down?
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me.
Hello, well-formed Homo sapien specimen. Would you care to depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo sapien individual just prior to fertilization?
Silkys clincher:
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
or
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
or just
NOW, BITCH!
Xar's never fail line:
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
JUST PLAIN BAD:
You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
You're on my list of things to do tonight.
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I'd love to tap that ass.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
I'm good at math. U+I=69
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
Do you want to see something swell?
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
Can I borrow 70 cents? No, Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura? (doesn't work if her name is Laura)
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will fuck you.
Mines bigger than his want proof?
First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
I wonder what our children will look like.
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Lie down. I think I love you.
Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or me getting you out of them?
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
Do you live on a chicken farm (girl says no) well you sure know how to raise cocks
What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
Pick a number between 1 and 10. Shit you lose now take off your clothes.
Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
(Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?
I'll bet you $10 my dick can't fit into your mouth.
I heard milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much you been drinking?
Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you!
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice.
I'd buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the straw
Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
FOR THE SAFE SEX CROWD:
I've got a condom with your name on it.
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Let's let only latex stand between our love.
You know what they say about guys with big hands. Big latex.
If you were camping and woke up with a used condom inside you, would you tell anyone? (No) Wanna go Camping?
THE SICK, TWISTED ONES:
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? NO!! Dirty cock sucker!
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
Tell me how my cum tastes.
Do you spit or swallow?
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
My FAVES:
Hi. Are you legal?
I'm Fluffy, wanna fuck like bunnies?
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
I've been a bad boy, so spank me!
You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
Tickle your ass with a feather? she says:WHAT?!!! you answer: I said particularly nice weather.
If you leave me, can I come too?
ALMOST GUARANTEED TO WORK:
Hand out business cards that just say, "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laughter.
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy          |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2002 : 11:52:39 PM
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quote:
Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis.
Hand out business cards that just say, "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laughter.
Hehe.....my two favs.
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2002 : 1:42:40 PM
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As per pcbdmb's request and Silky's comments, the newest addition to the list:
my aunt's cousin's nephew's friend's hairdresser passed... LET'S SHAG!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2002 : 02:49:42 AM
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SCORE!
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." |
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Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2002 : 09:16:36 AM
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Hahahahaha! Damn I'm smooth.
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2002 : 06:41:49 AM
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Smoove as Chunky Peanut Butta!!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Topic |
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Bad pick-up lines
