| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Black Lotus |
Posted - 12/16/2001 : 10:50:38 PM
OK ... So, I just went out and got me and my wife one of those massive 'you can't handle it' grilled burito's. Not too bad, actually, pretty good.
Until ..... about 10 minutes later, my ass erupts into a fury of kill the man who just ate taco hell. So, I run my pissed off hiney to the bathroom. I decided, hey, lets see how much I weigh prior to unleashing some fury ... 174lbs.
A few hours later .... i recover from the fumes and weigh myself again ... 171lbs. Not too shabby. Remind me NEVER to eat taco bell again.
Sorry, I just felt the need to share this. You may all call me a filthy bastard now  .
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"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those that falseley believe they are free."
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| 24 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Fluffy |
Posted - 12/22/2001 : 03:40:35 AM
EVEN BETTER!!!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy          |
| Black Lotus |
Posted - 12/21/2001 : 10:14:05 AM
Better yet .. make sure it's an UNUSED and NEW dildo. Smear some chocolate on it for the skid mark and they guy that asks if he can have it should lick the chocolate off of it as he walks away :)
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Look ma, new signature!
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| Fluffy |
Posted - 12/21/2001 : 02:53:54 AM
Can you imagine, you are working at a fast food restaurant(first this is almost impossible to imagine) and some crazed customer hurls a brown stained dildo thru the drive up window and some even more crazed customer walks up and asks if he can have it. I think I would have to quit on the spot. No I wouldn't, cause I never would have had that job in the first place. I would more likely be the guy asking for the dildo, just to see the look on everyones faces. Then I would follow asking for it with, "Could you hand it to me? Thanx!"
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
| enthuTIMsiast |
Posted - 12/21/2001 : 01:39:29 AM
Yep, sit at a table with a stealth camera going on the workers.
And put a brown smudge on the dildo. A skid mark, if you will. There is no way in hell I'd touch a 10 inch dildo with a big skid mark on it.
And yeah, I think the reaction that would be priceless would be the one that the guy that ASKS for the dildo would get.
-Jason-
I am a servant of the power behind the nothing. |
| Saint Jude |
Posted - 12/21/2001 : 12:52:06 AM
if u can get one of those camreas that are really thin u can pull it off. but the bulkier ones wont work real well....
or u can sit down at a table where u can see everyone pretty well, and set up there.
Patriotism is a maggot in their heads. - Henry D. Thoreau |
| Fluffy |
Posted - 12/21/2001 : 12:01:05 AM
Isaac, I think you have far to much TIMe on your hands. Where in the hell do you come up with an idea like that. That is so off the wall. If it works I wanna see the video and dildo!!quote:
somehow get the dildo back afterwords
I don't think anyone in the restaurant is gonna fight over it with you. Should be pretty EZ to get back. I would imagine the looks the staff will give the supposed stranger you have planted inside the weirder looks. Can you imagine what they would be thinking when a supposed stranger says "Hey, can I have that dildo some nut just hurled thru your drive thru window?" They may think that person crazier than the one throwing the dildo. Just BIZARRE all the way around. I like it!!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
| Black Lotus |
Posted - 12/19/2001 : 10:47:31 AM
I like to go through drive-through's in reverse and let the pasenger order for us :) That really fucks with the people working there.
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"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those that falseley believe they are free."
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| Isaac |
Posted - 12/19/2001 : 10:42:08 AM
Hehehe I used to work at a Hardee's so I know more then most how disgusting fast food is, but I still love it.
Like once I dropped a pickel off my littel table in the back and I caught it on my shoe. Well I figured since it didnt' touch the ground it was still good. So I put it into this delux burger (they were 99 cents then) and put it in the bin and waited in anticipation for the next poor bastard to order a Deluxe Burger! It was like some sick lottery, I loved it!
On the brighter side, once there was a litle nub left on the roast beef slicer, so I just left it slicing until it was gone. Well it turned out to be a hella lot of roast beef, so I wound up making a like 2+ pound roast beef sammich and giving to some guy in the drivethrough.
That reminds me of a prank that me and my friends are gonna do one of these days:
Okay you need at least 2 people, one goes into the resteraunt and pretends to stand there debating what to order. The other person takes a car through the drivethrough and orders water and napkins. When they get up to the window they remove a large dildo (at least 9 or 10 inches) and whip it into the resteraunt and drive away really quickly. Ideally the person in the resteraunt will video tape everyones reactions and somehow get the dildo back afterwords, but were a little hazy on how to do that. Any ideas feel free to contribute.
Isaac
"And when King Alexander saw the breadth of his domain he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer" |
| Black Lotus |
Posted - 12/19/2001 : 09:13:01 AM
quote:
Black Lotus... You filthy bastard!!! I couldn't believe no one took you up on your offer.
Finally, someone said it! Leave it to Fluffernutter.
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"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those that falseley believe they are free."
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| KevinLesko |
Posted - 12/19/2001 : 03:31:23 AM
damnit, I'm not reading that.... I LIKE FAST FOOD!!! I don't really care about sanitation. Almost everyday over the summer I ate at this roach shack called Alber-tacos. Best mexican food I've ever had and it was cheap, thats all that matters in my book. Actually come to think of it, a lot of the best food I've eaten has been at little hole-in-the-wall places.
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| Fluffy |
Posted - 12/19/2001 : 03:21:31 AM
Black Lotus... You filthy bastard!!! I couldn't believe no one took you up on your offer. By the way to all of you...... Fast food sucks!!! I think you all may have figured that out by now. The hard and burning, painful, I-am-never-gonna-eat-there-again way. Try reading FAST FOOD NATION. On any given day, one out of four Americans opts for a quick and cheap meal at a fast-food restaurant, without giving either its speed or its thriftiness a second thought. Fast food is so ubiquitous that it now seems as American, and harmless, as apple pie. But the industry's drive for consolidation, homogenization, and speed has radically transformed America's diet, landscape, economy, and workforce, often in insidiously destructive ways. Eric Schlosser, an award-winning journalist, opens his ambitious and ultimately devastating exposé with an introduction to the iconoclasts and high school dropouts, such as Harlan Sanders and the McDonald brothers, who first applied the principles of a factory assembly line to a commercial kitchen. Quickly, however, he moves behind the counter with the overworked and underpaid teenage workers, onto the factory farms where the potatoes and beef are grown, and into the slaughterhouses run by giant meatpacking corporations. Schlosser wants you to know why those French fries taste so good (with a visit to the world's largest flavor company) and "what really lurks between those sesame-seed buns." Eater beware: forget your concerns about cholesterol, there is--literally--feces in your meat.
Here is a link to the book on Amazon.com if you want more info and reviews.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/subst/misc/pop.html/107-6155878-9015710
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
| Saint Jude |
Posted - 12/18/2001 : 12:41:21 PM
i once puked up cherries from an entier cherry pie through my nose.
That was interesting.
Patriotism is a maggot in their heads. - Henry D. Thoreau |
| LizT |
Posted - 12/18/2001 : 11:49:15 AM
Oh man, you guys got some horror stories! I can relate to this topic, but it wasn't from bad food. I was scheduled for surgery the day after my birthday this year. I spent my birthday, September 4th, attempting to drink this crap called fleet phospho-soda. I wasn't allowed to eat any food that day either, but that was a good thing. Anyway, I tried to force myself to drink the first bottle. That stuff is the nastiest tasting shit I've ever had! I got about halfway thru the first glass and started puking my guts out! It got to the point I couldn't bring the glass to my mouth without projectile vomiting! Then it hit me, I was sitting on the hopper with explosive diarrhea and puking at the same time! This went on for hours!!! I finally called the doc and told him there's no freakin way I'm drinking anymore of that shit! And I didn't! I completely forgot I aged another year and it was the worst birthday I ever had!!!! |
| Black Lotus |
Posted - 12/18/2001 : 11:37:49 AM
Isaac, I'm going to buy you a toilet brush for Christmas this year.
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"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those that falseley believe they are free."
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| Isaac |
Posted - 12/18/2001 : 10:17:46 AM
The other day I was taking my girlfriend back to School (little over an hour drive). Before we left we went to the Mall food court for some lunch. I went to the old Sakura Japan where I the Chicken Teriaki with Fryed rice, double meat, AND extra Teriaki sauce.
By the time I was on my way back from dropping off my girlfriend I was almost tearing up I had to shit soo bad. I swear to you that shit came out soo hard there are, to this day, shit stains on the bottom of my toilette seat!
Isaac
"And when King Alexander saw the breadth of his domain he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer" |
| Jamie M |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 6:59:27 PM
KFC is another thing I stay away from. Any time I have it I spend the rest of the night with a glass of water in my hand. So greasy!
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| GuitarGuy305 |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 6:48:10 PM
I have to be very careful what I eat before/during work.
Since I'm in security, 8 hours, means 8 hours straight. If I'm lucky, I can run to piss, but shitting is out of the question. If I'm not at my post when an employee comes by, just the right employees, I'll get my ass in trouble for leaving my post. Even if I come down with the fucking flu during that 8 hours. It kind of sucks.
Adam
And on the 8th day God created the art of war...and laughing, planned the end.
Email: Guitar_Boy1@yahoo.com
AIM: GuitarGuy305 |
| KevinLesko |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 2:19:03 PM
Hey now, don't be hating on Taco Bell just 'cause you east-coasters cant handle a little mexican food! Actually maybe thats the reason why I have 24-hour flatulance, but I like it... I always win farting contests with my roomies.
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| Black Lotus |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 11:40:21 AM
quote:
Anyway I love Taco Bell more then life itself, its possible my body has over the years learned to create special enzimes and bacteria to breakdown that grade D meat they use in their taco's.
Last I heard it was still Kangaroo meat.
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"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those that falseley believe they are free."
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| Isaac |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 11:15:26 AM
Heh I go out to lunch every Friday, and lately it seems like Taco bell is the only thing that DOESN'T give me the shits. I had all I could eat at the OCB (Old Country Buffet) 2 weeks ago, i got back to work and left a half hour later and spent the rest of the afternoon on the shitter. Last week I had a Monster roast beef at hardee's, got super bad shits, but I needed the hours so I did my buisness in a public toilette (I hate public toilettes, not because of germs but because of peopel walking into the bathroom when it smells like my ass)
Anyway I love Taco Bell more then life itself, its possible my body has over the years learned to create special enzimes and bacteria to breakdown that grade D meat they use in their taco's.
Speaking of new Taco Bell Burrito's, here's one of my favorite Onion articles ever.
http://www.theonion.com/onion3109/newburrito.html
Isaac
"And when King Alexander saw the breadth of his domain he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer" |
| Black Lotus |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 09:41:11 AM
quote:
That sux man... i got food poisoning last night from some gyros... it was not good at all... i keept burping up the smell... adn that i puked and felt a bit better... then was up later... felt decent... then puked like mad... then i was ok... thats alot better. then 2 min later i have fucking diariha (sp?).... that was the worst few hours of my life... i would have rather taken a shot to the nuts then go through that again.
Patriotism is a maggot in their heads. - Henry D. Thoreau
Man ... I hope you're feeling better 
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"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those that falseley believe they are free."
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| pcbTIM |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 12:56:14 AM
only one shot? damn! I'd take ten shots in the nuts before having to live through that. Hope you feel better Saint Jude.
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| Saint Jude |
Posted - 12/17/2001 : 12:15:15 AM
That sux man... i got food poisoning last night from some gyros... it was not good at all... i keept burping up the smell... adn that i puked and felt a bit better... then was up later... felt decent... then puked like mad... then i was ok... thats alot better. then 2 min later i have fucking diariha (sp?).... that was the worst few hours of my life... i would have rather taken a shot to the nuts then go through that again.
Patriotism is a maggot in their heads. - Henry D. Thoreau |
| Jamie M |
Posted - 12/16/2001 : 10:55:18 PM
I know exactly what you mean... And as a result I havent been to Taco Bell in over a year.
Reminds me of the time I went to McDonalds when they had 2 Big Macs for $2. I spent $4, but I won't get into that.
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