| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| PJK |
Posted - 04/20/2004 : 3:53:11 PM
Yep, I am THAT old. My husband and I are celebrating our 25th anniversary today. The weather is gorgeous, just like it was the day of our wedding.
As I look back, it has been a road of "for better and for worse," but mostly for better. Who would think true love could be found in a pig barn? That's where we met, honest! I was working in agricultural research at the time and I had a safety study in swine, so I had to observe my sows for 2 hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon to record any symptoms from the drugs I injected into them. My husband was the manager of the swine facilities. My sows would just sleep! So I would watch sleeping sows for 4 hours each day. (can you feel the excitement? sarcasm) I ended up watching my husband instead! LOL Anyway, thats how we met and became friends.
I look back with happiness at the early days in our relationship when we spent most of our free time with each other. We would often pack a lunch or dinner and picnic in a small park in Princeton, NJ which just happened to be on a road called Lovers Lane. We would also take our canoe out on the nearby lake or just hang out at our friends places. Those were the days, carefree and wild.
Our marriage produced two wonderful children who taught me what unconditional love was all about. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kids.
When they say you have to work at marriage, believe me its true. But in the 27 years we've known each other, we only had 2 major fights. The first was before we were married. We were questioning if we should get married or not. We both had our own apartment in the same complex so he went back to his apartment and we were going to think things over. After about 3 hours, most of which were spent crying, I called him and asked if he had thought about what we talked about. He said "Well, I started to and then I got hooked on this TV show." Well, I got so pissed I slammed the phone down and it popped off the wall! Didn't talk to him for days!
The second fight happened after soon after we were married. He spent a night out with the boys and came home drunk as a skunk. I was awake but I pretended to be asleep when he came home. I heard him wretching. Then he came to bed. The aroma of vomit and beer was too much for me, so I decided to go into the living room to sleep on the cough. Well on my way I stepped in his vomit! Yep, he puked on our rug and didn't clean it up! Numerous times! I was again livid, and the worst part was, he was so out of it he slept right through my screaming! (which ofcourse made me even madder!)
So, yes, marriage does indeed require work.
My advice to those who are or want to get married some day, don't take your partner for granted. Don't get caught up in the daily activities that come with a family. Put your spouse first. Make time to be a couple.
Somehow over the years my husband and I lost sight of each other and our needs as a couple. It happened so slowly that we didn't even realize what was happening. It almost ruined our marriage. Then I got cancer. Who would think something so devastating could save a marriage.
Because I was so sick, there was no where to run. He stayed at my side every step of the way. It was him that I woke up to after my many surgeries. He took care of me at home and took over chores that I had done for years. And, we talked. A lot! He never complained. He was my rock.
I can honestly say I love this man more now than I did 25 years ago.
As many of you search for your soulmate let me tell you what true love is.
The other night I burnt dinner, I mean as in the chicken was barely recognizable. While I was almost in tears about it, not only did my husband not complain, but he ate it with a smile! As if this wasn't enough, when I saw my reflection in a mirror I realized how awful I looked! I still wear a wig, but it is uncomfortable and I usually take it off the moment I get home. My real hair is growing back, but it is short, as in about an inch and a half long, and fuzzy and it was sticking out in every direction. I looked soooo bad, it was more than just a bad hair day, it was scary! Then I realized that my husband had not only eaten my burnt dinner, he never said one word about how bad I looked. When I realized this, I went into the living room and gave him a big hug and kiss! That my friends is true love!
I hope all of you have the oportunity to experience true love in your lifetime.
BTW we didn't buy each other presents, no need to. We are going out to dinner and maybe if we can work it out we will take a romantic vacation this summer, just the two of us.
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| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| tericee |
Posted - 04/25/2004 : 3:38:19 PM
That was beautiful Pam. Your post got me all teary-eyed. It reminded me of all the work my parents have put into their 38-year marriage. I'm impressed and inspired by both you and my parents!
hugs,
teri :)
p.s. Sorry I haven't e-mailed in so long. Things with John are great! |
| Jay |
Posted - 04/22/2004 : 6:03:34 PM
Congrats Pam! That's really somthing, 25 years. I hope you have many more happy years! |
| TalkingNeurons |
Posted - 04/21/2004 : 10:25:56 PM
Damn... I was just thinking, 25 years is a loooong time. I envy you Pam. Sure, I'm only 16 and marriage should be the last thing on my mind but I'm really scared of divorce. I hope I can get it right the first time. |
| La Mer De Noms |
Posted - 04/21/2004 : 10:08:24 PM
congradulations |
| dan p. |
Posted - 04/21/2004 : 4:50:45 PM
marriage isn't really my thing, but congrats. |
| PJK |
Posted - 04/21/2004 : 4:08:24 PM
Thanks Everyone. We had a wonderful dinner and then watched a hockey game! Talk about romantic, LOL. (we are both avid hockey fans)
Glad you could relate this to your course Kevin.
Saint Jude, scary isn't it! LOL |
| KevinLesko |
Posted - 04/21/2004 : 02:30:25 AM
Great post Pam... I'm taking a sociology class right now that examines the differences between today's marriage and family with the earlier traditional times and your story really fits in with what we are discussing. I think your story is a great one because with the divorce rate so high... and with the divorce process made so easy, it would have been extremely easy to quit, but you hung in there and from you have said, it sounds like it has paid off in a big way! Props to your husband for sticking with you by your side, and to you for recognizing his love. |
| victorwootenfan |
Posted - 04/21/2004 : 12:29:30 AM
congrats to such a great person! wonderful news to hear! |
| Lindalu |
Posted - 04/20/2004 : 11:34:25 PM
God bless you! 9 years here (and 2 kids). But we've been together for about 18. I know what you mean by losing sight of each other (and ironically, I can relate to the vomit story too!). I just pray it doesn't take a devastating event to get us back to where you and yours are.
P.s.
Head massages are supposed to help your hair grow in faster (at least that's what they told my mom after her chemo- if not, she said it felt amazing anyway!)
Happy anniversary! |
| Saint Jude |
Posted - 04/20/2004 : 11:20:24 PM
congrats, youve been married for 5 more years then i have been alive. |
| genome |
Posted - 04/20/2004 : 9:00:32 PM
well written and surprising story
good on you PJK |
| prsmartin |
Posted - 04/20/2004 : 6:18:22 PM
Now, that's love...
Congrats!!!!! |
| Arthen |
Posted - 04/20/2004 : 5:51:08 PM
I hope I can be as lucky as you Pam and get to that achievement someday! Congratulations. |
| Zachmozach |
Posted - 04/20/2004 : 5:49:51 PM
Huge Congrats!!! I'm afraid of marriage but that makes it sound much better than some horror tales I've heard and even like something I might think about more to do. |
| Silky The Pimp |
Posted - 04/20/2004 : 4:53:30 PM
Congrats! |
| TalkingNeurons |
Posted - 04/20/2004 : 4:23:18 PM
That's awesome, PJK. Congratulations on 25 years!
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