| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| PJK |
Posted - 06/12/2003 : 11:21:27 PM
Some of you already know that I was diagnosed with breast cancer this week. I mention this not to get sympathy, because I really don't need or want that, but because most of this board is made up of guys and if you don't know someone now, it could happen to someone special in your life some day. It could even happen to you, yes men can get breast cancer, although its rare.
Hopefully, although I don't plan on going into great detail on the net, I will be able to shed some positive light on how it feels to be someone with cancer.
I feel very lucky because mine was found on a routine mammogram. It is invasive but small so my prognosis is good. I went through 3 months of pure hell having various tests each time with weeks of waiting in between! I had a biopsy done on June 3 and got the results on the 10th.
Never in a million years did I think I would get cancer, as no one in my family has any cancer.
I will be having surgery in July followed by radiation 5 days a week for 7 weeks and hormonal therapy for 5 years! Chemo therapy is a possibility but only if it spread to my lymph nodes. I won't know that until I have the surgery done.
Ofcourse I am hoping I am ok to still go to the Blues Festival on the 19th of July! (Just like any true TIM fan would!) When the surgeon said July that was the first thing I thought of! When she said radiation daily for 7 weeks I thought NOOOOOO, but then she said not on weekends so I felt better, hehe.
I am ok with this. It is not tragic. I have some rough months ahead of me no doubt but hey, it sure could be worse!
I know I will beat this cancer, no doubt about it!
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| 45 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Jay |
Posted - 06/26/2003 : 7:23:45 PM
Pam, I'm really glad to hear that you're comfortable with your doctors...That's one thing I wish both of my grandpa's had when they had cancer...I think that's very important. I'm so glad to hear that you're taking it strong and not letting it set you back. You'll be fine, I know it.
quote:
Pam, there's no doubt in my mind that you make even your really shitty days look like a walk in the park. That said though, you are more than entitled to have them! More good vibes, prayers, and hugs going your way!
I think that sums it up. I wish I could do, that, too. I make my shitty days look like...Well, let's just say it involves cats and Tom Waits on a tricycle with a chainsaw. Either way, I really look up to the way you're taking all this shite, just to let you know. Yer one amazing chick, Pam. |
| PJK |
Posted - 06/26/2003 : 5:38:13 PM
Just a bit of an update for those who care. I saw a radiation oncologist today. It was very stange indeed to sit in a cancer center. I feel as if there was this whole world out there, a world of cancer patients and while I thought I was aware of it, I realize now I wasn't. Yes, I gave donations, my family did walk-a-thons, etc but I never really knew what is was all about.
Now I am looking at it from the inside and struggling with my emotions. I was assigned an oncology nurse and I feel very comfortable with her and with the doctor. They both hugged me when I left today.
Apparently I may be in for some Chemotherapy as well and I am going to see a medical oncologist. That is the weird part of this. I have always been healthy so this whole "medical team" thing seems surreal. Usually you have a file folder at a doctor's office. I have a binder at the cancer center, yep a 3-ring binder with dividers in it! Like I said, this is a whole new world.
Regardless of the chemo. I will be in for 7 weeks of radiation treatments. (5X a week) I think I know what to expect and it doesn't seem too bad. I am going to have a sunburned boob, but hey at least I will still have a boob! Yes guys that is a big deal for a woman too.
Like I said the emotional part is the rough one, but no one should feel weird saying anything to me. One thing I have never said or thought is "why me?" While I am the first to admit I never thought I could get cancer, I just figure we are all delt different things in life. This is what I have been delt and I am going to learn to get through it. At least I am not alone in this. Believe me I know only too well there are things that are far worse. So many people out there who are delt things and left alone to work them out. Those are the people I feel so sad for.
A dear friend's wife just lost one of her close friends to a heart attack! The woman was only 35 and was out jogging! She is survived by a husband and 2 young children. Now those are the kinds of people to feel sorry for!
I didn't mean to write a book, I will try to keep it to a paragraph in the future. I just wanted to let all of you know whats happening. I can't honestly think of life without all of you! I am ever amazed at how one man's music caused our lives to be so entwined. I love you all! Maybe this is a good TIMe for me to say thank you to TIM! |
| enthuTIMsiast |
Posted - 06/22/2003 : 10:49:38 PM
Yep, you did help. I appreciate your ability to answer the math word problems. You're in the vast minority who can do that. |
| PJK |
Posted - 06/22/2003 : 9:56:09 PM
Jason, I think I did, right???? I had fun coming up with answers to your math problems. |
| Arthen |
Posted - 06/22/2003 : 8:39:58 PM
JAVA? How hard can it be to make coffee? |
| enthuTIMsiast |
Posted - 06/22/2003 : 12:32:03 PM
quote:
Now I know I can beat this cancer!
Pam, I know you can beat this cancer too, but can you beat this damn JAVA homework for me? It's got me all flustered and PISSED OFF. I want to hurt something..... must...
repress...
anger....
//bangs head against wall
|
| PJK |
Posted - 06/22/2003 : 11:36:18 AM
Done! hehe I also added another one I thought of. Lucky me, I finally get to have tattoos! It seems they will be tattooing my boob, er I mean breast (for Evergreens sake, hehe) for the radiation treatments. Who'd of thought? Ouch!
I guess reality finally set in. The worst part is knowing I have this in me and wanting to rip it out and not being able to do that. I still have 3 1/2 weeks until I have surgery! I wish I was working because I think about this 24/7 and it is literally eating me up inside! The PG concert last night was a welcome relief.
Sorrel, I am trying real hard to be positive, but sometimes it is just so fucking hard to do. |
| tericee |
Posted - 06/21/2003 : 7:46:58 PM
There's another one for your top ten, Pam! You don't have to wait for your time of the month to be bitchy for no reason!!! |
| Miss Sorrel |
Posted - 06/21/2003 : 7:07:51 PM
Pam, there's no doubt in my mind that you make even your really shitty days look like a walk in the park. That said though, you are more than entitled to have them! More good vibes, prayers, and hugs going your way! |
| PJK |
Posted - 06/19/2003 : 08:39:29 AM
Sorrel, How could you know? I have been real positive, and I will be, but I woke up today crying and I don't even know why. Maybe it is because my last day of school was yesterday and I usually work in the summer. Not this summer.
I am supposed to call and make an appt with the radiation oncologist for a consultation. My surgeon told me I should, but that I don't have to. I kept telling myself I would do that today, along with other phone calls I need to make but I don't think I will. I have such a fear of doctors I am just not assertive enough to make the call and go for the consultation.
I don't care anyway. I don't know if I want to know everything I will have to go through. I know the basics, I am getting tattooed, yep tattooed. Little circle tattoo marks, permanent reminders of what I have. They do that so they give the radiation in the same spot every time. I know I will go for radiation treatments 5 days a week, for 7 weeks. What else is there to know?
I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't feel so down. Maybe part of it has to do with having a headache for 3 days. Sinuses and allergies. You don't stop having them just because your body decides to get cancer too!
I will go and eat something, have some coffee. Turn on the TV and try to escape me for awhile.
For what it is worth, Just reading your comment Sorrel made me feel better. Good timing. Thanks!
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| Miss Sorrel |
Posted - 06/19/2003 : 01:58:41 AM
Jason... your sister is beautiful! not only from what you say, but you can clearly see in the picture she's got quite the spirit and an amazing attitude... and I am sure you've heard this plenty, but I can totally see the family resemblance!
Pam... GOOD VIBES!!!
I now feel it's my duty to check, and I am going to need an attitude check from you. Are you still keeping that positive inspirational glow about you??? If not... the board is gonna getcha! |
| PJK |
Posted - 06/17/2003 : 3:44:26 PM
Thanks Patrick, I understand, no problem! I am going to be fine so no need to feel bad. see, I am smiling!!!! I miss you, I was so glad to see your post and you are right, what would the school year be without our early morning chats? Damn boring thats what!
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| pcbTIM |
Posted - 06/16/2003 : 7:34:13 PM
I hope everything will turn out OK, otherwise who am I going to talk to at 5 AM on weekdays during the school year??
Also, sorry I didn't respond to the email you sent me, Pam. I felt the same way as Erich in that I didn't know what to say. Hope you feel much better. You deserve it. |
| Evergreen |
Posted - 06/16/2003 : 4:35:37 PM
We will try our best to roll out the banter and funny stories.
Let me know if you want to read If you haven't already,
The Real Frank Zappa Book, which is hysterical esp if you imagine Franks voice reading it to you with his always evident little note of sarcasm. I'll send you a copy. Along with a copy of the CD Roxy and Elsewhere. Before reading the book, listen to Franks intro to Penguin in Bondage and then imagine him reading the stories in his book in that same tone and voice.
When I get a little more energy I'll have to post the chapter about the plaster casters. Thats one of my favorites.
Also, does Calvin and Hobbes make you laugh?
and P.S. you didn't send me your mailing address for the funny book care package........
|
| {=HTG=} |
Posted - 06/15/2003 : 03:28:52 AM
Oh wait, I still have plenty of
Good Vibes
left! |
| victorwootenfan |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 9:56:28 PM
Pam, i'll find you online soon and talk to you about it. I gotta story to tell you as well about meditation and cancer... |
| PJK |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 6:04:24 PM
Wow Therippa! Your sister is amazing! Thats a tough cancer to deal with! I lost a brother-in-law to a brain tumor two years ago. Best vibes and prayers for your sister. Glad she had/has a positive attitude. It is the only way to go through life. Something tells me she will be just fine and she will be a very successful artist some day! (You better get her to autogaph some piece of artwork for you so you will have it when she becomes famous some day!) |
| therippa |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 5:21:36 PM
My little sister just finished treatment for a brain tumor (optic glioma specifically). They couldn't tell if it was malignant or benign because the location of it prevented them from doing an biopsy. Throughout the whole ordeal she had the most positive attitude she possibly could. She wants to be an artist, and said that artists always have to go through something trying at a young age to make their art unique. Doesn't this little girl look happy...
Just keep a positive outlook and you'll do fine!
|
| enthuTIMsiast |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 11:37:17 AM
quote:
Posted by Arthen:But does this mean Pam would have to get stabbed too?
quote:
Posted by PJK:...I will be having surgery in July...
|
| Arthen |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 11:19:51 AM
Kevin, it totally is the greatest movie ever!
But does this mean Pam would have to get stabbed too? |
| PJK |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 10:52:30 AM
yep maybe you could |
| enthuTIMsiast |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 09:59:08 AM
Hey hey, maybe I can get you a hook up there... |
| PJK |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 07:15:05 AM
Thanks Kevin! hehe it does fit! It really made me laugh!
Wow Teri, you/re right! I don't think even for cancer its legal in PA damnit, but I could hope, hehe
Teri, I added that to my original list! Thanks |
| tericee |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 03:17:55 AM
quote:
Originally posted by PJK
I just want to thank all of you for the very kind comments.
TOP TEN REASONS WHY IT IS GOOD PAM GOT HER CANCER NOW
all I could think of were 5 damnit so if anyone can think of any others be my guest! You won't offend me cause laughter IS the best medicine ya know!
#5 I might be able to collect disability insurance!
#4 I get to get back at my sisters for being mean to me when I was little (youngest of the family!) because now they have to check off that box that says "family history of cancer" which they never had to before....and all because of me, hehe
#3 No one will get on my case when I want to take a nap!
#2 I always wanted to have a healthy "glow" about me......after all the radiation I will "glow in the dark"
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON IT WAS GOOD TO GET CANCER NOW!!!!!
I GET THE WHOLE SUMMER OFF!!!!!!
#6: You might get a chance to use marijuana for medicinal purposes... |
| tericee |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 03:14:37 AM
Miss Sorrell, I couldn't get the reply feature to work, but here's my reply to your post:
You could do Race for the Cure, which is sponsored by the Susan G Komen Foundation. Look for one near you at http://www.susangkomen.com/race/races_by_state.asp
The Breast Cancer 3-day walk is marathon distance (I think) but done over time with sleeping accommodations each night. It looks like they might only be on the west coast though...
* San Francisco, California, November 7-9, 2003
* Los Angeles, California, November 14-16, 2003
* San Diego, California, November 21-23, 2003
Also, you can go every single day to http://www.thebreastcancersite.com and click the button! |
| enthuTIMsiast |
Posted - 06/14/2003 : 01:07:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by PJK
I was thinking how humor is so much a part of my life and then I thought damn why should this cancer be any different. I started thinking of positive reasons why this happened to me now and then David Letterman popped into my mind. I got to thinking about this:
Now who would put a crazy idea like that into your head??? |
| CPPJames |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 9:04:04 PM
LOL, Kevin...I don't necessarily share your passion for the movie, but I recall that line and it definitely made me laugh. Not that it's really a laughing matter, but just the way it was said was quite funny. |
| dick mountjoy |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 8:45:33 PM
kick that cancer's ass Pam! |
| KevinLesko |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 6:52:04 PM
here is another humorous one... if you are at all a fan of THE BEST MOVIE EVER... (Royal Tennenbaums) you can use PAGODA's famous line "he has the cancer"
I searched online for the .wav but I could find it... hopefully someone knows what I'm talking about, it's a great line from a great movie. |
| PJK |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 5:04:18 PM
I just want to thank all of you for the very kind comments.
Jason, thanks for all your support, you are wonderful, wait a second, what the hell was that comment you made to Erich????? hehe
Erich, thanks! I understand your concerns but you said everything just fine!
Arthen, got the Karma.....Thanks! I needed that!
Sorrel, if my attitude starts to suck at some point I am counting on you to get me back on track, remind me that I can be positive, ok?
Tom, thanks for the good vibes and all the daily good wishes on line!
Jay, for once I am not going to say "Jay, lay off the weed!"
Pedro, with your added good vibes I will kick this cancers ass!
Teri, you truely are wonderful! I would be proud to sponser you in a run for cancer! Just tell me when and I will send what I can!
Kevin, best 7 words ever! I will remember them! Also I am indebted to you for being there for me on line when I got the call!
Saint Jude, just damn good to see a post from you again! I appreciate the possitive vibes.
Matt, you are super and thanks for putting me in your prayers and meditations. BTW I wanted to talk to you again sometime about meditations, I just recently started getting back into that!
Liz, what can I say friend? Thanks for all your positive information.When I need medical advise I know who I can get it from. I really appreciate that! Thanks so much!
James, thanks! Your comments were very kind! BTW hope your trip to Forida was a success!
And Brenda, you didn't post here but thanks for the emails. They really meant a lot to me! I will be emailing you too.
Ok now for the update: I go for a bone scan on Monday to see if it went to my bones, which my doctor is sure it didn't but they have to do it to be sure.
I was thinking how humor is so much a part of my life and then I thought damn why should this cancer be any different. I started thinking of positive reasons why this happened to me now and then David Letterman popped into my mind. I got to thinking about this:
TOP TEN REASONS WHY IT IS GOOD PAM GOT HER CANCER NOW
all I could think of were 5 damnit so if anyone can think of any others be my guest! You won't offend me cause laughter IS the best medicine ya know!
#8 I finally get to have tattoos
#7 I can bitch any time I want to!
#6 I might get to use marijuana for medicinal purposes (thanks Teri)
#5 I might be able to collect disability insurance!
#4 I get to get back at my sisters for being mean to me when I was little (youngest of the family!) because now they have to check off that box that says "family history of cancer" which they never had to before....and all because of me, hehe
#3 No one will get on my case when I want to take a nap!
#2 I always wanted to have a healthy "glow" about me......after all the radiation I will "glow in the dark"
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON IT WAS GOOD TO GET CANCER NOW!!!!!
I GET THE WHOLE SUMMER OFF!!!!!! |
| CPPJames |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 4:54:24 PM
Best of luck Pam, I'll be thinking about ya. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you, you've certainly helped me out recently. |
| LizT |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 4:31:01 PM
Love ya Pam, my prayers are with you for a complete cure! The great news is that it was caught early. This is a reminder for me to have my mammogram done that I was suppose to have in January. Keep those spirits high my friend and if there is anything I can ever do, please let me know!! Please let those lymph nodes be negative!!!!!
By the way Erich, breastfeeding helps decrease the risk of breast cancer. I nursed four kids, I hope the odds are with me.... Probably not with my luck. |
| victorwootenfan |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 10:27:25 AM
My thoughts, prayers, and meditations are with you Pam. May the gods be with you! |
| enthuTIMsiast |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 10:02:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Erich
i worried that i would end up saying somtehing like at least youre no longer breast feeding
No, you see how it works is that you say stuff like that to build her up! It'll make her stronger and she'll thank you eventually. |
| Saint Jude |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 04:12:31 AM
i wish you all the best of luck Pam. |
| Miss Sorrel |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 02:24:57 AM
Good call Tericee! I really want to get involved in marathons, but as lame as it sounds, I don't know where to begin. I don't mean to distract from this post... but if you are aware of any breast cancer awareness marathons, would you let us know? Thanks!
And Pam... MORE GOOD VIBES!!!!!! |
| KevinLesko |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 02:23:26 AM
I finally thought of what to say, and it will only take 7 words:
I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT TOO! |
| tericee |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 01:57:57 AM
You go, Pam!
I'll start looking for a breast cancer marathon program!!! |
| {=HTG=} |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 01:24:09 AM
Way to go Pam, i'm glad your doing strong. Just remember i'll always be sending good vibes your way.
Good Vibes
quote:
I know I will beat this cancer, no doubt about it!
Kick its ass Pam! |
| Jay |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 01:14:40 AM
I'm with everyone here! I'm totally confindent that you're gonna beat it! In fact, I know you are! I'm joining in Thomasode's good vibes but I'm too tired to make the blue letters so here!
GOOD VIBES AND GOOD THOUGHTS |
| thomasode |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 01:03:51 AM
GOOD VIBES |
| Erich |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 01:03:21 AM
Pam, I got your email and just didnt know how to respond. Im never the best with words when it comes to touchy situations, and so i worried that i would end up saying somtehing like at least youre no longer breast feeding and completely set you off (of course im kidding though).
But seriously speaking... I have all the confidence in the world that you'll beat the cancer completely. Youre a strong woman, and i know that carries well over from your personality. Thats nothing bad, trust me . I can only offer my thoughts and prayers, and i know that the rest of the board feels the same way.
Maybe fluffy can get tim to do a special jam for you at the blues fest called "Pam is going to kick cancer's ass!". |
| Miss Sorrel |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 12:32:52 AM
Pam,
Prayers and good vibes are being sent your way for sure. Your positive attitude and good spirits inspire me greatly! You are a truly special person. Thank you for sharing this with us... you make what you are going through look easy, although I know it's far from it. I obviously don't need to tell you to hang in there, because you are showing the cancer who is boss!
If there's any support that you need, I am sure you can come here and expect some from the board!
     |
| Arthen |
Posted - 06/13/2003 : 12:15:38 AM
Sending good karma your way Pam. |
| enthuTIMsiast |
Posted - 06/12/2003 : 11:53:32 PM
Let me be the first to fully support you. |
