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CPPJames Posted - 02/21/2003 : 11:32:45 AM
I hesitated to ask this here, just cause I don't want to lay my problems on everyone else, but I don't really have anyone else to ask that isn't already biased...so here goes.

I dated a girl for 4 years and I was completely and totally in love with her. It was a storybook caliber romance. The only problem at the time is I was only 16 or so when we started dating, so hormones were raging and I felt as if I needed "life experience" (take that as you will). So I ended up cheating on her, even though I was completely in love with her (not many people will understand that). I was really insecure and I felt like the more girls I dated, the better I'd feel. It worked...but only short term.

Anyway, one day a few years back she just ended it...and rightly so. I'd been out of control and I'd really hurt her. Problem is, it absolutely annihilated me. I was so distraught that I packed my bags and moved to Florida. I had to get away. She ended up meeting someone else and so did I and we didn't speak.

Recently she broke up with the only guy she dated after me and I'm still with the girl that I've been dating for a over a year. The problem really boils down to this:

1.) Right now I don't feel the same level of feelings for the girl I'm seeing as I did with my ex...and I'm not sure I ever will. It's possible, but I obviously don't know.

2.) Lately, my ex's friends have been constantly asking me questions, so I'm thinking that my ex is feeling really lonely and wants to know how/what/who I'm doing.

3.) Even though it's been a couple years, I still miss the hell out of her. I can't shake it. I can't help but feel that she was the one for me. Granted, I don't cry myself to sleep anymore, but it still eats at me whenever I think about it.

I really just want to know what the hell I should do to either try to get over it permanently, or to try to get back in her good graces, even though we're not talking.

Any advice would be appreciated,
James
3   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
CPPJames Posted - 02/21/2003 : 1:03:36 PM
Yeah, I'm pretty convinced she's not the one. I'd just be incredibly nervous to talk to her again. It took me 2 years, give or take to be over it in the sense that it didn't consume every waking though. Part of me can't help but wonder if I'd be doing myself a major disservice by talking to her again. Then again, it might be the best thing I ever did. It's just an incredibly large risk for me, considering I'm in an emotionally fragile state. Arghhhhhhh!
Silky The Pimp Posted - 02/21/2003 : 12:35:29 PM
A first step would be to just get back in touch and see where that leads. If she's THE one for you, then there's no question that you should at the very least give her a call... that doesn't commit you to anything. It sucks that you may inevitably hurt the girl you're with now, but if she's not right then it's bound to happen some time anyway.
tim~and~dave Posted - 02/21/2003 : 12:18:41 PM
make up sex is the best think what it will eb like after a year

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