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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
 Posted - 04/21/2002 : 01:34:22 AM
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I think the world is just a little to fucking PC. When a COMEDIAN can not even right or post his silly lyrics with out creating a backlash of animal rights activists and alike. I love animals as much as the next man, cats even more. As a matter of fact, the love of my life, Tasha, my 21 year old cat died earlier this week. Tragic. I loved her so much, yet I can still laugh at funny lyrics. What is peoples problem? Here's the story. I was riding home tonite listening to my new Stephen Lynch CD and the last track on the CD came on. Because of our topic about God Killing Kittens everytime someone masturbates the song took on a whole new meaning. I am sure he did not write it about masturbation but the lyrics work in sections, very funny! I wanted to come home and share the lyrics with the board and I knew the lyrics to the songs were listed in the CD. Much to my surprise "Kill a Kitten" is a hidden bonus track and the lyrics were not listed. I went to the internet to find the lyrics. What I uncovered was a shitstorm that really pisses me off. Apparently SL had them posted on his website and due to a major internet campaign of animal rights activists he gave in to the pressure and removed them from his site. As I searched the lyrics had been removed from everywhere. It was very disturbing that in this day and age people could not take a joke. Many implied that SL was not actually kidding and that he was saying he was kidding only now after people were criticizing him. Here are the lyrics to the song:
"Kill a Kitten"
By Stephen Lynch
When the game of like makes you feel like quittin'
it helps a lot if you kill a kitten.
Mark my words 'cause from where I'm sittin'
you can't go wrong if you kill a kitten.
There's no crime that you'd be committin.'
I know the law -- you can kill a kitten.
And if you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin'
you'll get plenty when you kill a kitten.
Feed it turpentine or break its spine.
Crush it with your shoe as long as you kill a kitten.
If the one you love isn't quite as smitten,
she'll like you better if you kill a kitten.
And I'll quote the bible 'cause that's where it's written,
if ye loveth Jesus ye must kill a kitten.
Flush it down the can.
Hit it with your van.
Drown it in a lake.
Bake a kitty cake.
Throw it at a train.
Make it snort cocaine.
Stick some TNT up its cat booty.
Do what you must do as long as you
kill a kitten.
Killing kittens isn't easy
and if the thought makes you feel queasy
grab a pitchfork from the shed
and kill a puppy dog instead.
Kill a kitten.
Kill a kitten
a little furry kitten.
Below I have linked some of the more important stories concerning this shitstorm. First is SL's statement on his website where he talks about why he removed the lyrics.
http://www.stephenlynch.com/killakitten.html
Next we have someone who seemed instrumental in the campaign against him and reading his words really scare me. Especially his criticism of the people who emailed him in support of SL. He has quoted many of the emails he recieved.
http://www.wall-of-shame.com/offenders/stephenlynch.html
If this subject has caught your interest and has angered you the way it has me I suggest going to google.com and do a search on(copy + paste just as I have it typed) "stephen lynch""kill a kitten" lyrics
You will be shocked at the number of hits and some of the most assinine comments I have ever read over a comedy song/sketch. Sad Sad SAD, that with all the problems in the world people think that a comedy song about killing kittens is worthy of so much of their anger and disgust. I am certainly not trying to lessen the plight of abused animals by this comment, as I believe it is wrong and certainly distasteful, but PEOPLE are being killed all over the world. I am sure these people who feel so strongly about the "Kill a Kitten" song if asked would say they also have concern for those PEOPLE as well but couldn't there time be put to better use actually helping to save abused animals or PEOPLE than complaining about the lyrics to a silly comedy song? Just my opinion and I would love to hear others comments on this. Am I just way outta line on this one or does anyone else see what I am getting at. It is just comedy!!!I don't think SL meant for people to actually kill cats. If you hear his album it is not like all the other songs are serious and then out of the blue this song about killing cats. He manages to touch on almost every taboo subject and I think that is the point. Let me see how un-PC I can be. Well the backlash caught up with him on this one. I offer up my moral support to SL and my outrage at the people who are offended by these lyrics. Yes they are distasteful, but it is COMEDY!!! Like Monty Python banging a dead parrot on the counter of a pet store. COMEDY!!
When will people learn to laugh? When will they learn that if something offends them, don't listen to it? When will they stop trying to censor stuff for the rest of us. It is my choice what I listen to, and as a CAT LOVER, the lyrics DO NOT offend me!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy          |
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someguywithaguitar
Chatterbox
USA
122 Posts |
Posted - 04/21/2002 : 01:35:49 AM
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Wow....I didnt read any of that! Hi Fluffy.
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 04/21/2002 : 05:33:59 AM
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TTT for my Friends aBOARD the Space Pod!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Silky The Pimp
Alien Abductee
3321 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2002 : 01:10:25 AM
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That is fucked up... it reminds me of a special on 20/20 that I saw a few years ago about people that were upset with the portrayal of RETARDS on television. One woman went so far as to say that it made her cry every time she would see the blaspheme of PORKY THE PIG because he stutters, or DAFFY DUCK because he had a lisp. There are some people that are seriously fucked in the head out there.
-J
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2002 : 04:41:07 AM
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Yeah...I'm tired of the people who go to the extremes to "protect our children" when in actuality, they are simply trying to get rid of something they don't like. I think the movie South Park really personified that point. I think we should start a campaign to get rid of all the stuff WE hate, like the you-know-whos, and NSUCK, and Britney Spears, etc. because THEY are destroying our children. NOT songs on pretending to kill kittens!!
"Life is what you make of it, not what you take from it." |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2002 : 06:51:38 AM
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Parody I think they call it. People need to get a grip. Sorry this post is so long, but it is well worth a read if you are at all interested in censorship issues or are concerned about our society becoming entirely to PC. Give it a read, it won't kill ya!!(but it might kill a kitten)
I better add JUST KIDDING about that last part b4 the PCers and animal rights activists of the world come down on my head!! Just Kidding, Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT kill kittens!! Unless it is indirectly from masturbation. I am off to kill some kittens!!(I meant masturbate, not actually kill kittens. Just so ya know)
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2002 : 6:43:23 PM
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Some? kittens........wow......
"Life is what you make of it, not what you take from it." |
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2002 : 7:09:24 PM
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One kitten down...
-What- |
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dirtysloth
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1302 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2002 : 9:03:54 PM
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For the love of... uh,... kittens!!! OF COURSE he's kidding... "And I'll quote the bible 'cause that's where it's written, if ye loveth Jesus ye must kill a kitten." That's funny as shit and is obviously a joke. You're definitely right, Fluff. People really need to get a grip. Reminds me a little bit of the censorship specials I saw on VH1 this weekend. Evidently Frank Zappa had an intrumental album(Jazz From Hell) that had a "Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics" label on it. How insane is that? Censorship = bad.
Peace,
Patrick
http://members.tripod.com/one4tim/index.htm |
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dirtysloth
Fluffy-Esque
USA
1302 Posts |
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pcbTIM
Alien Abductee
USA
6501 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2002 : 9:42:20 PM
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quote:
One kitten down...
...better make that two...
"Life is what you make of it, not what you take from it." |
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2002 : 01:08:36 AM
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dirtysloth quoted Fluffy who quoted Steven Lynch:
quote:
"And I'll quote the bible 'cause that's where it's written, if ye loveth Jesus ye must kill a kitten."
That's the funniest line from that song. Where I live, this one guy is always saying "You just made Jesus cry" and stuff like that. And then to find out that Jesus wants us to kill kittens?!! Whew.
Well, if my Lord and Savior says so......
-What- |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2002 : 06:41:26 AM
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Let's see if I have this straight:
Everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten.
The bible says Jesus wants us to kill kittens.
Am I to assume Jesus wants us to masturbate and God does not?
Typical father/son stuff. "Son what are you doing in the bathroom?"
"Killing kittens Dad!"
"Good! As long as you aren't masturbating!"
HEHEHEHE
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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enthuTIMsiast
Alien Abductee
6990 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2002 : 08:33:24 AM
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Just one of those confusing Bible things. God wants one thing when it's so much more pleasant to kill kittens .... I mean to masturbate.
Really, that's typical Bible stuff. Making me all confused, not knowing what to do and then WHAM! .... another kitten down.
-What- |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2002 : 2:42:36 PM
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I always know what to do:
When in doubt
Whip it out
and MASTURBATE!!
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2002 : 04:47:21 AM
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For Arthen who missed this thread in his absence. TTT
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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GuitarGuy305
Alien Abductee
USA
2007 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2002 : 3:25:52 PM
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Well, in the immortal words of Greg Proops...
"Animals have two jobs: To be delicious, and to fit well"
Adam
Everybody's talkin' at me, I can't hear a word they're sayin'...Just driving 'round in Jon Voight's car...
Email: Guitar_Boy1@yahoo.com
AIM: GuitarGuy305 |
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Fluffy
Administrator
USA
10739 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2002 : 06:15:22 AM
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Does that go for all animals? HEHE Mr Burns seems to think so!!
Burns: Some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good...
See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.
See this hat, 'twas my cat,
My evening wear - vampire bat,
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino.
Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share,
Beret of poodle, on my noodle
It shall rest,
Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest,
See my vest.
Like my loafers? Former gophers -
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo
Would be best,
So let's prepare these dogs,
Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs,
Burns: See my vest, see my vest,
Oh please, won't you see my vest.
Courtesy of pcbdmb, who posted it just for me in this topic:
http://www.timreynolds.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2072
Peace & Keep the Faith
Fluffy |
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thomasode
Yak Addict
565 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2003 : 10:14:02 PM
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TTT I saw this guy on Comedy Central last night. He is FUCKIN HILLARIOUS!!! |
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bugman96
Chatterbox
148 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2003 : 01:17:22 AM
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| Personally, I think it's a damn stupid song but the people who get their panties in a bunch over it are equally stupid. |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2003 : 01:25:59 AM
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Flaming moe?
Stephen Lynch is so hilarious. He's on tour too and has a new album out! |
Steve Hackett: "I'm my own opening act, you see."
Tim (before "Faceoff"): "Peace, love....and SEX!"
cbenc41@hotmail.com |
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prsmartin
Yak Addict
USA
547 Posts |
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prsmartin
Yak Addict
USA
547 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2003 : 01:40:56 AM
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Alright this has nothing to do really with the topic. Just wanted to post these lyrics. They're immature, but who cares??? They're pretty damn funny.
**********************
Larry The Cable Guy
-"The Fart Contest"
Just sit right back and you'll
Hear a tale about a fart contest.
That happened down in Jacksonville
And crowned the very best.
The champion was a seasoned pro
Who could fart right on command.
But the challengers was full-of-beans
And ready to take the stand.
The contest started at 1 o'clock
With the retard going first.
He scored real big with a health food fart
That came in three loud bursts.
Came in three loud bursts.
Then came the China man with the egg roll fart.
The old man had a chance.
But he tried too hard in the final round
And the son-of-a-bitch pooped his pants.
I don't have the ending verse cause this is from memory since my friend has that cd right now. Oh well. I'll post the end when I get my disc back (if anybody wants). This guys also talks about how he proposed to his girl in Hardees with a curly (freedom) fry. Funny stuff. OK, bye. |
FTP INFORMATION:
69.171.44.51 - Port 21
User - tim
Password - reynolds
http://www.timreynolds.com/torrents
timreynoldsftp@hotmail.com
 Peace... |
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j
Chatterbox
149 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2003 : 3:09:10 PM
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it seems that the main worry for those who oppose Stephen's song is that some ass-clown will go around killing kittens and cite "Kill a Kitten" as inspiration. If this is the case and the main argument against the song, then the argument has left the realm in which the song itself is still pertinent. Now the central question would be the censorship of the song (i.e. how available it should be to the public, especially the younger public)
"Natural Born Killers" had the same problem. Most of us see the movie and either like it or don't, while a minority of inept assholes see the movie as a brainstorming session.
Anyhow, I thought "Kill a Kitten" was at best mildly amusing. I didn't find it offensive or threatening but rather stupid. I guess that's were most find the humor, in the ridiculousness of the songs. Of course, I don't really like any other standup/musical comedians. I'm more of a fan of David Cross or George Carlin to name a few. |
your words burn the air like the names of candy bars |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 03/24/2010 : 12:08:58 PM
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Speaking of killing kittens...
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teri 
Twittering about the DC adventure since Dec '09...
(Micro)Blog * Photo Album
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 03/24/2010 : 12:11:47 PM
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Also, right before I moved back to the U.S. I saw a bumper sticker on a minivan. It went with the original kitten killing theme, so I took a photo to share with the BOARD.
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teri
Twittering about the DC adventure since Dec '09...
(Micro)Blog * Photo Album
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What is the world coming to? STEPHEN LYNCH
